+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 8 of 8

Thread: I've been picked apart.

  1. #1
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    I've been picked apart.

    I've been picked apart. Examined.
    The only conclusion to come to is this.
    Focus on the flaws you wish to see.
    Its the good in me you'll miss.

    Don't take offense. Don't run for cover.
    To hide from dirt you think I've flung.
    I just want to be noticed, cared for.
    Got an appetite for hope. I'm sprung.

    Just wanted to stay connected.
    I'm affraid If I can not stay close.
    In hopes that someone really sees me,
    I cry. I write. Hit submit. Then post.

    We all get judged. So pick me apart.
    Am I cruel? Am I facetious?
    I've been torn. Broken. Ripped.
    You'll find I'm already in pieces
    ... Not Ever Again...

  2. #2
    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    oh canada
    Posts
    647
    Thanks
    4
    Thanked 27 Times in 26 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    Ahahaha.. I don't get it, but that's not my job it's yours.

    Shiny poem though, love the message it sent me. Kinda twisted, kinda.

    I do hope it's not true though, the part dealing with being all broken emotionally. It's sad what the world leads its people too, very sad, not shiny at all.

    Uhm.. great job on the poem. Looking forward to more stuffs ^^
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

  3. #3
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    Unfortunately this is based on my real emotions.
    But theres nothing to "get" really. because its about soo manny different people and ways that I've been looked at and judged. And the end is just saying that they can do no more damage than what has been done.

    I'm curious to know more about the twisted message you got from this. I love your mind, flawed or not....
    ... Not Ever Again...

  4. #4
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    In a Demon's Arms
    Posts
    1,875
    Thanks
    56
    Thanked 39 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    I love the flow in this one!!! I really do, it has something catching in it... The single-word-senteces you use- that's it! They just give such power to this poem- great.

    I must admit that I didn't "get" it all at first too, but when I read your poem, I took a look at all the stranzas one by one and saw it in a different light... And I liked it even more...
    The first stranza where you talk about how people see the worst first... We must learn to see the good in other people...
    And the third stranza... I feel just like that from time to time... posting a poem and hoping that someone will see the call for help...

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  5. #5
    Banned levitatinganimelover is off to a good start levitatinganimelover's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Posts
    165
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    extremely great poem i loved evey part of it you got straight to the point and i liked it highly detailed big words i loved it.

  6. #6
    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Friendly Fridley
    Posts
    1,477
    Thanks
    124
    Thanked 140 Times in 121 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    Didn't even realize you comented on this levitating! Thanks!... I see you're in a bit of trouble. Talk to ya when your back.
    ... Not Ever Again...

  7. #7
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    someplace where the only light is the moon above
    Posts
    3,118
    Thanks
    102
    Thanked 70 Times in 64 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    We all get judged. So pick me apart.
    Am I cruel? Am I facetious?
    I've been torn. Broken. Ripped.
    You'll find I'm already in pieces
    i love this part because everyone
    goes through this at one time or
    anther doesnt matter if your being ripped
    stomped or stepped on or the one doing the
    cruel thing or things , its how we decide how
    things will or should be and worry about the
    after effects later.

    life is just so full of people that get hurt or
    are being hurt there isn't time enough for anything
    else like spending time with someone or something
    and you get caught up in the pain or misery of things
    going on in your life or in the lifes of others.

    this poem really shw how sad things can be
    if you let them just get out of hand very cool poem
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Re: I've been picked apart.

    I agree with you holder i like that part too~!And i also agree with lasura~! This is a rather good poem... @.@ my my..i can never compete with this..
    good job peachy~! i'd like to see more of ur's.. ^^

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts