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Thread: The Joy of help

  1. #1
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    The Joy of help

    You see a friend in need,
    You know your mood is down,
    The way you know to get it back,
    Is to help the friend in need.

    You ask them if they want help,
    They tell you what is wrong,
    Knowing you might not be able to help,
    You try your best anyways.

    After finding the facts,
    And Searching wide,
    You come to a conclusion,
    Your happy that you made it.

    You let your friends know,
    And they become happy you found it.
    After all you did you made your friend happy,
    Which in turn made you happy.

    Sorry for the quick and sudden return of my poems, this one is a bit on the week side, but yeah anyways hope you guys like it! I will try to post more soon
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  2. #2
    Otaku BrokenLover101 is off to a good start BrokenLover101's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    I like it Ichigo but the word flow could be a little better. ^_^ other than that I think it's pretty good and I would love to see more from you.
    X.x.X The only thing I'll ever want... X.x.X

    X.x.X Is for you to love me the way I love you.. X.x.X

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    Otaku DEMON SPAWN may be famous one day DEMON SPAWN may be famous one day DEMON SPAWN's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    pretty good! not you best but, not your worst either. the flow was a little shakey. good jod though

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    Otaku chrystalann2004 is off to a good start chrystalann2004's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    it was good to read . the intresting as well .

    do what you know that make you happy
    dont force yourself to be happy
    witch i tell all the time and alway & in what you choose.

    hope to see more from you

  5. #5
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    Thank you, all three of you, I am glad you guys liked it even though it was one of my weaker ones.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    Chtonian Slayer Astaroth may be famous one day Astaroth's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    Over all......you did a splendid job......but the rhythm and the flow could be a little bit better......
    But the words by themselves go perfect with the title
    DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON

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    Mathematical!! Bugz Champion, Ant Bully Champion, Chainsaw the childern Champion, 3D Net Blazer Champion, Cricket Challenge Champion, Big Uglies Champion, Body Check Champion, Desktop Fishing Champion, All Star Skate Park Champion, Chuckie Egg Champion, Birdy Champion, Anthrax Jelly Champion, Air Typer Champion, Word Pads Champion, Crash Test Dummy Curling Champion, The Mini Jump Game Champion, Chairlift Challenge Champion, Astroboy vs One Bad Storm Champion, Fight Man Champion, Blot In Hell Champion, Beeku Adventure Champion, Connect2 Champion, Atomica Champion, Cannonball Follies 2 Champion, Bada Boing Champion, BeachDefence Champion, Alkie Kong 2 Champion atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout has become well known atomik_sprout's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    Quote Originally Posted by BrokenLover101 View Post
    I like it Ichigo but the word flow could be a little better. ^_^ other than that I think it's pretty good and I would love to see more from you.
    I agree. This IS a very well written piece of work, it's just kinda jumbled up--as far as the flow of the poem is concerned. But, none-the-less, this isn't weak by any means.

    Keep up the good work, my friend. And what's with the gap in log-ins lately? I've been wonderin' where ya been.


  8. #8
    Newbie Jairo may be famous one day Jairo may be famous one day Jairo's Avatar
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    Re: The Joy of help

    it is really good, it remind me of one of my friens. She is always trying to help others
    Do not dwell in the past... do not wonder about the future... just life the present to the fullness...

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