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Thread: Just Happy holding Hands

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Just Happy holding Hands

    He whispered he wont go as he grabbed my hand,
    I asked God, “Is there such a man?”
    Who could take all my insecurities away,
    Take me out of the darkness, and bask me in day.

    While others avoid me like the plague
    he smiles at me, and tells me it’ll be ok.
    He makes my dreams feel so true,
    When he’s away I feel so blue.

    He makes me want to write love poems,
    He makes me feel as if there’s no such thing as boredom.
    Holding his hand makes time stand still.
    With him Love is all I’ll ever need to feel.

    Inspired by an awesome girl. (animated girl)
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

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    Newbie Japxican may be famous one day Japxican may be famous one day Japxican's Avatar
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    Re: Just Happy holding Hands

    Not bad. I liked some of you other ones better, but sometimes it's hard to describe love. Some things in the second stanza seem a little cliche (well, what isn't cliche?), but I like the first stanza; it's my favourite. I like that you used rhyme; it definitely gives this poem an edge. I don't think it would have the same effect if it wasn't.

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Re: Just Happy holding Hands

    I get what ur saying and yeah. I as a bout uneasy about putting this up. A writers worst nigtmore is write something uber cliched. but made a vow to post as much as I can. so tada

    thats why i hate writing love poems, and even more so rytheming poems. I cant get my point across well enuff.
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
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    Newbie Japxican may be famous one day Japxican may be famous one day Japxican's Avatar
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    Re: Just Happy holding Hands

    Cheers to you for trying, though. Like I said, love poems can be tough. And you only get better with practice. I know I have a whole bunch of poems I would post, but they have to do with Christianity and God, and I don't think people would really understand them or comment on them, so I don't take the risk.

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