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Thread: Just a thought

  1. #1
    Otaku erosennin may be famous one day erosennin may be famous one day erosennin's Avatar
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    Just a thought

    A thought, a soothing memory
    A happy place that colorless ice ensconces
    A better time and place than here and now
    No tears, no words, just a razor
    Don’t be that way

    I have been where you are now
    An eternity devoid of light, filled with muffled sound
    The blade pressed against the skin
    The only real sensation
    True decay of self

    I have seen what you have seen
    I have cut where you have cut
    And for every drop of blood I bled, thinking to save myself
    The ice grew thicker still
    Put it down

    I thrashed
    I flailed
    I cursed
    I failed
    I railed against my unimportance
    Throw it all away

    Stop
    Walk outside
    Breathe, and smile
    Life is not hard
    Life is not pain
    Life simply is
    You are alive
    Someday, you might come to enjoy it

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Just a thought

    I thought it rock'd and was a type of poetry that entertains my thoughts until you got to about here:

    I thrashed
    I flailed
    I cursed
    I failed
    I railed against my unimportance
    Throw it all away

    Stop
    Walk outside
    Breathe, and smile
    Life is not hard
    Life is not pain
    Life simply is
    You are alive
    Someday, you might come to enjoy it


    I think this not belong with it. Its two different beats in one song. Like mixing Blue Grass with Instrumental. You should definetly revise. And go back to the mind set you were on when you started it. Remember a poem doesn't always take like a shot in the dark or can be filled in one sitting. Take time and finish it the way it should have been!

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  3. #3
    Otaku The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter may be famous one day The Fighter's Avatar
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    Re: Just a thought

    ^ ^Nice poem! Was realy intresting to read!!

    ^^oo you also have a intriging poem.

    especially this phrase:
    I railed against my unimportance

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