Thread: Just a thought

I thought it rock'd and was a type of poetry that entertains my thoughts until you got to about here:

I thrashed
I flailed
I cursed
I failed
I railed against my unimportance
Throw it all away

Stop
Walk outside
Breathe, and smile
Life is not hard
Life is not pain
Life simply is
You are alive
Someday, you might come to enjoy it

I think this not belong with it. Its two different beats in one song. Like mixing Blue Grass with Instrumental. You should definetly revise. And go back to the mind set you were on when you started it. Remember a poem doesn't always take like a shot in the dark or can be filled in one sitting. Take time and finish it the way it should have been!

^ ^Nice poem! Was realy intresting to read!!

^^oo you also have a intriging poem.

especially this phrase:

I railed against my unimportance