Killing me inside! (Or: Is it in you?)

*atomik_sprout* · Feb 18, 2008, 12:07 PM

It kills me inside to
know that you don't care.
But I don't either...
So we're even there.

The one thing we DO
care about is why we fight.
Which is funny because it
shouldn't even be happening, right?

It kills me inside to
know that you think
an apology will fix
everything in a blink.

The one thing that CAN
fix this: Drop the past.
Otherwise it'll come back
and bite you in the ass!

It kills me inside to know
you're happy with his confusion.
Any other guy would probably
lend you a couple of bruises.

The one thing in my life
that really matters to me
and I'm stuck looking like
a major in douche-baggery.

I'm dying to know why
this has even continued.
Like Gatorade, the ability
to let go: Is it in you?

Because it's kiling me to
know you simply don't care.
But neither do I, so
I guess we're even there.

Echo · Feb 18, 2008, 12:57 PM

...I'm not really sure what to say....
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...it confuzzles me >.<
Seriously now though...good rhyming skills, and it had a really nice flow.
Over all, I thought it was pretty good poem ^-^

*atomik_sprout* · Feb 18, 2008, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Echo

...I'm not really sure what to say....
I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...it confuzzles me >.<
Seriously now though...good rhyming skills, and it had a really nice flow.
Over all, I thought it was pretty good poem ^-^

Yeah, I wasn't sure which route to take in this poem. I really wanted to be funny, but quickly changed my mind, but then decided not to write such depressing poetry. So, I met myself halfway and this is what I came up with.

I'm glad you like it and appreciate your taking the time to read my work. Thanx!

Echo · Feb 18, 2008, 02:38 PM

Well you're very welcome, and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Funny poetry always makes me happy :]

Which is weird considering I don't write any myself...I am just not that good at writing funny poetry...I am better with serious stuff lol.

*atomik_sprout* · Feb 19, 2008, 06:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Echo

Well you're very welcome, and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Funny poetry always makes me happy :]

Which is weird considering I don't write any myself...I am just not that good at writing funny poetry...I am better with serious stuff lol.

Hey, ya never know until you try a few times. I used to suck at writing, period. I couldn't write a likeable poem, let alone a funny one, but after a few months of broken pencils and crumpled sheets of paper, here I am sharing it with everyone here on AO.

"He who dares, wins." Hassun told me that once. I don't know exactly where it's from, but it's stuck with me.

Echo · Feb 19, 2008, 07:29 AM

Thats true...I never thought of it that way before...thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it :]
Yeah I know what you mean about crumpled sheets of paper and broken pencils, I go through alot of that..so you're not alone on that one lol.

bratling · Feb 19, 2008, 07:34 AM

I liked the sentiment I got from this one. Well written, unrepetitive and a nice flow.

Mind mailing me and telling me what it's about and all. We haven't talked in a while.

Feb 18, 2008, 12:07 PM	#1 (permalink)
atomik_sprout CHUCK NORRIS!!! Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: Minneapolis, MN Posts: 2,087 Thanks: 55 Thanked 69 Times in 64 Posts Credits: 110,749	Killing me inside! (Or: Is it in you?) It kills me inside to know that you don't care. But I don't either... So we're even there. The one thing we DO care about is why we fight. Which is funny because it shouldn't even be happening, right? It kills me inside to know that you think an apology will fix everything in a blink. The one thing that CAN fix this: Drop the past. Otherwise it'll come back and bite you in the ass! It kills me inside to know you're happy with his confusion. Any other guy would probably lend you a couple of bruises. The one thing in my life that really matters to me and I'm stuck looking like a major in douche-baggery. I'm dying to know why this has even continued. Like Gatorade, the ability to let go: Is it in you? Because it's kiling me to know you simply don't care. But neither do I, so I guess we're even there. __________________ http://www.myspace.com/boondocksamurai
Status: Offline

Feb 18, 2008, 12:57 PM	#2 (permalink)
Echo Newbie Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 70 Thanks: 5 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 4,963	Re: Killing me inside! (Or: Is it in you?) ...I'm not really sure what to say.... I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry...it confuzzles me >.< Seriously now though...good rhyming skills, and it had a really nice flow. Over all, I thought it was pretty good poem ^-^ __________________ "I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping to learn a bit bout' what is true and fake"
Status: Offline

Feb 18, 2008, 02:38 PM	#4 (permalink)
Echo Newbie Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 70 Thanks: 5 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 4,963	Re: Killing me inside! (Or: Is it in you?) Well you're very welcome, and I look forward to seeing more of your work. Funny poetry always makes me happy :] Which is weird considering I don't write any myself...I am just not that good at writing funny poetry...I am better with serious stuff lol. __________________ "I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping to learn a bit bout' what is true and fake"
Status: Offline

Feb 19, 2008, 07:29 AM	#6 (permalink)
Echo Newbie Join Date: Feb 2008 Location: Tennessee Posts: 70 Thanks: 5 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 4,963	Re: Killing me inside! (Or: Is it in you?) Thats true...I never thought of it that way before...thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it :] Yeah I know what you mean about crumpled sheets of paper and broken pencils, I go through alot of that..so you're not alone on that one lol. __________________ "I'm a young soul in this very strange world hoping to learn a bit bout' what is true and fake"
Status: Offline

Feb 19, 2008, 07:34 AM	#7 (permalink)
bratling Devoted Otaku Join Date: May 2007 Location: Crystal Minnesota. Posts: 505 Thanks: 0 Thanked 16 Times in 15 Posts Credits: 11,624	Re: Killing me inside! (Or: Is it in you?) I liked the sentiment I got from this one. Well written, unrepetitive and a nice flow. Mind mailing me and telling me what it's about and all. We haven't talked in a while. __________________ She's always trying not to cry. But I can see the demons in her eyes. She's always trying not to yell. But you see to her, she's trapped in hell.
Status: Offline

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