Thread: A kiss

Originally Posted by PhoenixSara

A kiss it was all that was to him: -(,)
Yet i heard the angels sing. -(,)
The stars fell down from the sky,
We couldn't forget; my heart and I -(.)

ummm.... just saying but the fromat has some problems... at the end of each "sentece" it should be a "," and not anything else... (but at end a "." is needed) but its good anyways.... (little short...)

Thanks for the comment i wanted to keep it short and simple and not spoil what i felt. but thanks it's noted and i will keep it in mind to make something longer the next time.

It is very simple, but still is very beautiful. There isn't much one can say about four lines, but I really liked it.

Sounds like a horrible situation, though.

Originally Posted by divine_punishment

It is very simple, but still is very beautiful. There isn't much one can say about four lines, but I really liked it.

Sounds like a horrible situation, though.

Let's just say i am not one to bring it up but he acts like it's just one of those things.

Originally Posted by PhoenixSara

The stars fell down from the sky,
We couldn't forget; my heart and I

Hmmm, I agree that it's simple ... [maybe too simple] <_<" Yet I like the way you wrapped it up at the end with the last two lines. Very nicely done. Though you could extend it.. Though I couldn't think of what more to add to it as well. XD!!!

A kiss it was all that was to him

Sad line ... I like how you compare the kiss to your heart and I also like the way ''he'' only finds it a simple kiss.

Originally Posted by ihauntforlust

Hmmm, I agree that it's simple ... [maybe too simple] <_<" Yet I like the way you wrapped it up at the end with the last two lines. Very nicely done. Though you could extend it.. Though I couldn't think of what more to add to it as well. XD!!!




Sad line ... I like how you compare the kiss to your heart and I also like the way ''he'' only finds it a simple kiss.

Thank you very much, i have ben thinking since i got the comment this morning that it was too short. but i couldn't think of anything else. and i know it sounds kinda naive.