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Thread: Kowaï of you....

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    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Kowaï of you....

    You are mystery turned truth,
    There aren't any other to compare.
    I face the brittle times of life,
    Thinking of who you may be.
    Sharing thoughts briefly,
    The virtual land being our common playground.
    What's more than simple exchanges,
    Growing through what we are.
    Finally with a bit of laughter,
    I stare at the world of fear that you create...



    SSHANU
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    kowai is an adjective... ie. "scary"

    "scary of you"

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    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    I wasn't certain of "afraid", but Kowaï was the closest word I could remember from my very limited knowledge of Japanese words. I would none the less appreciate that you mention something other than a word in the title. A constructive comment about the part that I thought of the longest, the blue writing and all would be nice

    I was inspired by the word "Kowaï" as it fit well with the idea I had at the time I created this. Made me think even more of the person since the person I dedicated it to is interested in this lanaguage.
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

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    anti-semantics Pub Quiz Champion tsurara may be famous one day tsurara may be famous one day tsurara's Avatar
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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    The most constructive criticism I can offer you is not to write in a language you don't speak ^^;

    That may sound harsh... but just look at engrish.com

    It's hard to take anyone seriously when they're using gibberish because they think it's awesome...

    Using words in other languages for the sake of using them doesn't add anything to a poem or story. It's artifice. And if you don't know how to use those words: it's ignorant artifice.

    A great deal of poetry is choosing the right words... and knowing how to use them to elicit a reaction. One wrong word can ruin the effect. And any words that don't hold any meaning to the reader are words that are wasted.

    Sorry ~_~; But that's my opinion.
    Last edited by tsurara; Nov 07, 2007 at 03:31 AM.

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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    I would say i agree with tsu there.. @.@ i thought this was a scary poem... sheesh.. it seems my expectations was blown to pieces...

    It was a good poem...the style was kinda dreamy...the flow was nice... its short and simple but deep...nicely written.. i like it

    Keep it up master poet

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    Femmebot Rehab Colt Crouse Champion, Bookworm Champion, Hangman Champion, Connect 2 Champion Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows has become well known Peach_follows's Avatar
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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    Meh..... I really can't say I agree with tsurara.

    "A great deal of poetry is choosing the right words... and knowing how to use them to elicit a reaction. One wrong word can ruin the effect."

    Seemed like the misuse of the word DID get a reaction....

    Besides "Scary of you" Kinda works for me. Throw "the" infront of it, and it has a mysterious ring to it.

    As for the poem. I wished it was longer... It left me feeling like I did not know enough. I like it when that happens. Because then I get to use my imagination to fill in the blanks.
    ... Not Ever Again...

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    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    I agree with tsurara that it's just silly to use a language you don't really know just to look cooler, but this time I think it's not the case, because, as soldat explained, it was used just because it reminded of the person this was written about. I wouldn't have written the "of you" though if I didn't know the actual way to use this word but just approximate meaning of it.

    But the poem is very nice. ^^ Wonderful descriptions and it brings peace (yea, I know it should be about fear, but it sems peacefull for me) and I understand all the feelings described in this... A nice work ^^ I hope to see more!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

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    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: Kowaï of you....

    Quote Originally Posted by Peach_follows View Post
    Meh..... I really can't say I agree with tsurara.

    "A great deal of poetry is choosing the right words... and knowing how to use them to elicit a reaction. One wrong word can ruin the effect."

    Seemed like the misuse of the word DID get a reaction....

    Besides "Scary of you" Kinda works for me. Throw "the" infront of it, and it has a mysterious ring to it.

    As for the poem. I wished it was longer... It left me feeling like I did not know enough. I like it when that happens. Because then I get to use my imagination to fill in the blanks.
    When I write poetry, I often tend to write in pure inspiration of the moment. Sometimes I can write a very long peom in a matter of a minute or two and people can adore it. Sometimes I take an hour to write it just so it rhymes and doesn't sound to silly. It always depends on the style I'm looking for and how I am feeling. If I were to stop and think fully of each word I am to use, I would never finish my poems, or they would be extremely long to complete. I do tend often to be analytical in my thinking, but sometimes just spiting it all out makes me feel better.

    For example, I once used the word "tantra" without precisely knowing its meaning. I considered it a wild natural phenomenon, but was told it was something else and it ended up being very meaningful to what I wrote after the title.

    For me, a title is what I consider representing in one way or another what will follow. It may be confusing at first, but it will probably offer a bit of insight on what you will read.

    For example, I chose to use "Kowaï" because I heard it many times on various occasions when people were afraid. I was even told that is was positievly about expressing this emotion. So I didn't actually throw the word out of the blue. The words "of you" was to represent that I was offering the following poem to someone in particular, but I didn't name names to keep it open for the readers to feel what they had to feel without feeling targeted. They may sound strage together, but I felt that they had to go together no matter what. Poetry isn't just rules, it is also emotions that defy the very rules that make up what is a poem and what is not.

    My friends are here so that's all for now :P
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

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