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Thread: Kurushimi- Random Love Poems <3

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    Newbie Sabishii is off to a good start Sabishii's Avatar
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    Kurushimi- Random Love Poems <3

    Random stuff? Post your own if you want...


    Don't leave me
    Don't fear me
    Don't decieve me
    Don't sigh.

    Don't laugh with tears
    falling from your eyes
    Because you know
    I'd rather die

    Than to see you
    See me
    The way you do
    In your eyes

    The tears fall
    like the rain falls
    from each of us

    And I know now
    that you know
    it's over:
    for good

    And you know,
    Just for now
    I don't mind
    if you lie

    Just tell me
    You'll love me
    and hold me
    forever

    But now I know
    The truth untold
    That you never will,
    But instead

    You'll leave me
    You'll fear me
    You'll lie to me

    You'll sigh to me
    and cry to me
    and say
    that you'd rather die

    And as the tears fall
    like the rain falls
    my sight is blurred

    And I no longer
    see you
    the way
    I once did

    Because you left me
    you feared me
    you lied to me

    You sighed to me
    you cried to me
    and I died

    And it's all over
    no longer
    will I search for love

    For it's love's fault;
    the pain
    will never end

    Love grabs your heart
    and it's grip so strong
    it leaves an imprint

    And if your love should die
    your heart's source is dry
    and It will too

    And that's why
    I will not
    Fall for you
    or anyone

    And I cannot
    believe myself
    because I just did

    ----------------------------------------------

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    Newbie xXxOmen92oxXx is off to a good start xXxOmen92oxXx's Avatar
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    Re: Kurushimi- Random Love Poems <3

    hey it's a basic and balanced poem.. im all right with it..

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    Zev
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    Re: Kurushimi- Random Love Poems <3

    It was good, I think it would have been a whole lot better if you would have used more variety in your word choice. You used the same words a lot in this poem.

    Signature is a Gwenibe original.

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    Re: Kurushimi- Random Love Poems <3

    Quote Originally Posted by Zev View Post
    It was good, I think it would have been a whole lot better if you would have used more variety in your word choice. You used the same words a lot in this poem.
    Thank you. I've actually never written any poems before, so I'm really inexperienced... Teehee?

    I was kind of going for more of a song format, with a motif. I don't really know much about how to do it though. I guess I'll practice? ;3

    The light was leeking through the curtains;
    A sight that should have calmed my heart.
    But the night was creeping and I was certain;
    A fright ripped my head apart.
    The loneliness was staggering,
    And the room was oh so cold.
    So tell me why is it- that this warmth feels so old?
    Your arms conceal my fragility,
    Your feelings combine with mine.
    This darkness has no pull on me
    for we have stopped the time
    Last edited by Zev; Aug 13, 2009 at 06:12 PM.

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