Labyrinth of the Mind

Seirika · Jul 21, 2007, 06:58 PM

Energy draining with every thought,
Words on a page nonsensical.
The stress builds up as the fun dies down.
Can you still tell from left to right?
For I cannot with this clouded vision.
Thoughts rampaging in different directions,
Jumping from one to another within a moment.
Concentration broken, breakdown nearing,
Strength fading, willpower tested,
Wondering which option to take at this point -
Submit into the dark pleasure of the sloth’s ways,
Or persevere in what supposedly is correct.
Thoughts conflicting and intertwining,
Combining what should not be together,
Obscuring the outcome into something intangible.
Welcome to labyrinth of a clouded mind.

Tifa Lockhart · Jul 21, 2007, 07:12 PM

The poem is great. It's meaningful and interesting. Keep up the good work.

*Lasura* · Jul 23, 2007, 05:39 AM

Omg... this is creepy- this poem made shivers run down my spine and made me feel alone even though there are plenty of people around me...

Now this is something really worth reading!!!! I really like it...
Confusion portrayed so well it makes your head spin... wonderful!!!

I'll be waiting forward for more!!! ^^

Seirika · Jul 23, 2007, 04:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lasura

Omg... this is creepy

Wouldn't that be bad? =/
Lol,I guess it could be good in a way.
Tifa,Lasura thank you for the criticism.^^

*Lasura* · Jul 24, 2007, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Seirika

Wouldn't that be bad? =/
Lol,I guess it could be good in a way.
Tifa,Lasura thank you for the criticism.^^

No, it's good... creepy things and happenings seem qite attracting to me (t's becausee nothing TOO creepy has ever happened to me), life would be really boring without things like that...

The main thing is that this poem made me feel something and it's the best thing there could be (that's how I think) So yea... nice work!

kamikazekrn · Jul 24, 2007, 03:59 PM

i just cant get over your ending, put together so well i...dont even know what else to say

Favorite line:
Or persevere in what supposedly is correct.

going along with the classic question, "What is normal?"

runebearer00 · Jul 24, 2007, 04:23 PM

I thinkit is a really nice poem well written and to me it made me think of something that i hade forgot for some reason it is reall a good poem ^_^

Jul 21, 2007, 06:58 PM	#1 (permalink)
Seirika Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Somewhere over the RAINBOW Posts: 152 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,700	Labyrinth of the Mind Energy draining with every thought, Words on a page nonsensical. The stress builds up as the fun dies down. Can you still tell from left to right? For I cannot with this clouded vision. Thoughts rampaging in different directions, Jumping from one to another within a moment. Concentration broken, breakdown nearing, Strength fading, willpower tested, Wondering which option to take at this point - Submit into the dark pleasure of the sloth’s ways, Or persevere in what supposedly is correct. Thoughts conflicting and intertwining, Combining what should not be together, Obscuring the outcome into something intangible. Welcome to labyrinth of a clouded mind. __________________ Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.
Status: Offline

Jul 21, 2007, 07:12 PM	#2 (permalink)
Tifa Lockhart Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Nibelheim Posts: 150 Thanks: 1 Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 2,687	Re: Labyrinth of the Mind The poem is great. It's meaningful and interesting. Keep up the good work.
Status: Offline

Jul 23, 2007, 05:39 AM	#3 (permalink)
Lasura Angelic Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: In a Demon's Arms Posts: 1,866 Thanks: 56 Thanked 32 Times in 30 Posts Credits: 49,192	Re: Labyrinth of the Mind Omg... this is creepy- this poem made shivers run down my spine and made me feel alone even though there are plenty of people around me... Now this is something really worth reading!!!! I really like it... Confusion portrayed so well it makes your head spin... wonderful!!! I'll be waiting forward for more!!! ^^ __________________ My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge
Status: Offline

Jul 24, 2007, 03:59 PM	#6 (permalink)
kamikazekrn Newbie Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: SoCali Posts: 46 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 219	Re: Labyrinth of the Mind i just cant get over your ending, put together so well i...dont even know what else to say Favorite line: Or persevere in what supposedly is correct. going along with the classic question, "What is normal?"
Status: Offline

Jul 24, 2007, 04:23 PM	#7 (permalink)
runebearer00 Newbie Join Date: Feb 2007 Location: The realm of Darkness Posts: 42 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,870	Re: Labyrinth of the Mind I thinkit is a really nice poem well written and to me it made me think of something that i hade forgot for some reason it is reall a good poem ^_^ __________________ *In the Darkness i walk alone..........* sig by Akura13
Status: Offline

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