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Thread: Labyrinth of the Mind

  1. #1
    Otaku Seirika is off to a good start
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    Labyrinth of the Mind

    Energy draining with every thought,
    Words on a page nonsensical.
    The stress builds up as the fun dies down.
    Can you still tell from left to right?
    For I cannot with this clouded vision.
    Thoughts rampaging in different directions,
    Jumping from one to another within a moment.
    Concentration broken, breakdown nearing,
    Strength fading, willpower tested,
    Wondering which option to take at this point -
    Submit into the dark pleasure of the sloth’s ways,
    Or persevere in what supposedly is correct.
    Thoughts conflicting and intertwining,
    Combining what should not be together,
    Obscuring the outcome into something intangible.
    Welcome to labyrinth of a clouded mind.

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.

  2. #2
    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
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    Re: Labyrinth of the Mind

    The poem is great. It's meaningful and interesting. Keep up the good work.

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Labyrinth of the Mind

    Omg... this is creepy- this poem made shivers run down my spine and made me feel alone even though there are plenty of people around me...

    Now this is something really worth reading!!!! I really like it...
    Confusion portrayed so well it makes your head spin... wonderful!!!

    I'll be waiting forward for more!!! ^^

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #4
    Otaku Seirika is off to a good start
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    Re: Labyrinth of the Mind

    Quote Originally Posted by Lasura View Post
    Omg... this is creepy
    Wouldn't that be bad? =/
    Lol,I guess it could be good in a way.
    Tifa,Lasura thank you for the criticism.^^

    Become a wind, unfathomable distress. I'll hold back your loneliness.

  5. #5
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: Labyrinth of the Mind

    Quote Originally Posted by Seirika View Post
    Wouldn't that be bad? =/
    Lol,I guess it could be good in a way.
    Tifa,Lasura thank you for the criticism.^^
    No, it's good... creepy things and happenings seem qite attracting to me (t's becausee nothing TOO creepy has ever happened to me), life would be really boring without things like that...

    The main thing is that this poem made me feel something and it's the best thing there could be (that's how I think) So yea... nice work!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  6. #6
    Newbie kamikazekrn may be famous one day kamikazekrn may be famous one day kamikazekrn's Avatar
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    Re: Labyrinth of the Mind

    i just cant get over your ending, put together so well i...dont even know what else to say

    Favorite line:
    Or persevere in what supposedly is correct.

    going along with the classic question, "What is normal?"

  7. #7
    Newbie runebearer00 is off to a good start runebearer00's Avatar
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    Re: Labyrinth of the Mind

    I thinkit is a really nice poem well written and to me it made me think of something that i hade forgot for some reason it is reall a good poem ^_^

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