+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast
Results 1 to 8 of 11

Thread: Last Words

  1. #1
    Elie Jelly elie26 may be famous one day elie26 may be famous one day elie26's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Hell is an understatement
    Posts
    593
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Last Words

    I lay on my bed
    Face white as sheet,
    Pale as bleach.

    I suffer immense pain
    Those from hell can only imagine

    I cannot utter a single word
    But I desperately needed to scream
    I feel sleepy
    For I have not slept in days
    As I’m afraid of the dark

    I often see white figures in my dreams
    Calling me,
    They are all waiting for me on the other side
    Where everything is cold and dark

    Hours, minute, second
    Time don’t matter to me now
    While I desperately cling on to life
    The more it seems to slip away

    I know that they will not come
    “They” who are once my family
    They do not feel any remorse
    As they watch me struggle hopelessly
    They stare at me with their cold eyes
    Piercing into my fragile heart

    I don’t understand
    We were once a happy family
    Time drowned my past
    Forcing me to forget those precious moments

    But before I go,
    Before I give in,
    I need you to know something
    You, who once cared for me.

    Life is precious
    You must learn to appreciate it
    Cherish every moment you have as if it’s your last
    Life comes once and only once.

    Now, as the sun rise
    And the birds sing
    I can see them ever so clearly
    My time has come to move on
    I take my final breath
    And go…

  2. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Life is an illusion.
    Posts
    2,429
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 17 Times in 16 Posts

    Re: Last Words

    ^^ Good, better, perfect, don't know which one to choose!

  3. #3
    AO's Demon Slayer Hexxagon Champion, Match Stick Soccer Champion Blade X may be famous one day Blade X may be famous one day Blade X's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Protecting my loved one.
    Posts
    1,601
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Last Words

    Dam girl, u jus keep this gd work. *kisses u on the forehead.

    Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra

  4. #4
    Community Dude Asteroids Champion dude101 may be famous one day dude101 may be famous one day dude101's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Australia, Newy
    Posts
    725
    Thanks
    1
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Last Words

    Nice poem, i can't wait to see what else u got.

  5. #5
    THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K is making a name for themselves Mr. K's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Location
    (6 Months of Sun)
    Posts
    1,338
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 9 Times in 8 Posts

    Re: Last Words

    *bows* Your work is so good, and YOu never stop. What no Breaks???
    ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤
    You know how you drown a blonde, Rosalie? Glue a mirror to the bottom of a pool.
    Jacob Black, Breaking Dawn, Chapter 14, p.271
    Lamie Hynamen "I reject your reality and substitute my own."

  6. #6
    Mercenary SousukeSagara may be famous one day SousukeSagara may be famous one day SousukeSagara's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    War zones around the globe...
    Posts
    527
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post

    Re: Last Words

    In the dark that no one can measure,
    There's a small light which is a treasure
    Waiting for you to reach and to hold
    The light which is your family that you already told.....

    Nice poem..... The delivery is very clear to us.....

  7. #7
    AO shady bystander Comboling Champion bassdudez may be famous one day bassdudez may be famous one day bassdudez's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    Wherever Kirika goes....
    Posts
    894
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: Last Words

    Hmm.... pretty good. Very clear, although some depth would be a nice addition to it.

    And this part......

    I feel sleepy
    For I have not slept in days
    As I’m afraid of the dark
    This part kind of broke the feeling of horror and pain...... Im not sure if it matched with the poem as nice as the other parts did.

    But nice poem. Lots of action, and great descriptions........ and thats a really nice contrast in the last part. Great job ^_^
    Kastelic's creation



  8. #8
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2005
    Posts
    4,293
    Thanks
    30
    Thanked 38 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: Last Words

    I don’t understand
    We were once a happy family
    Time drowned my past
    Forcing me to forget those precious moments
    yeah sadness is pretty kool, hey nice poem elie

+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 2 1 2 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Three Simple Words
    By dark frog in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Jun 03, 2005, 03:56 PM
  2. Random Words of Love
    By Shade/K' Heart in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: May 30, 2005, 02:46 PM
  3. No Words
    By Kikinaki in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Apr 11, 2005, 03:50 PM
  4. Not one for words
    By DemonBanisher54 in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: Mar 27, 2005, 03:56 PM
  5. Are own Words OF wisdom
    By ZerOraY in forum The Thread Vault
    Replies: 40
    Last Post: Nov 13, 2004, 07:57 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts