left me

*hellknight* · Dec 06, 2006, 10:33 AM

When you first have left me
you never did say good-bye
I know you wanted to leave me
and yet I don't know why

Damn girl, you left me in the dark
its like something thats tearing me apart
if you want me to live, give me a little spark
and I want to say something from the heart

I always looked upon you
I remember you always smile
now your gone, I don't know what to do
my heart will last for only a little while

Is it because am a native?
Its something that I can't hide
why didn't you ever say this?
I would have shown my Indian pride

now we're no longer together
we should say something for our peace
so we could remember for this forever
and so we can go as we please

I remember we use to hold hands
and taking nice stroll walks
I know it had to be a 1 night stand
but all night we mostly talk

we said so much up all night
and we got some sleep right at dawn
we always looked at each other in the light
I know we always bond

I see you always so sad
and you have never cry
you never go so mad
but everthing will be alright

*Kasai* · Dec 07, 2006, 02:26 AM

A few grammatical errors need to be tended to.

*hellknight* · Dec 07, 2006, 06:52 AM

you in english? lol just kiddin man yeah i guess your right

InsaneHoge · Dec 07, 2006, 06:57 AM

damn nice poem. i like it. it's a little long though but nice.
I would grade it a nine

Aiora · Dec 07, 2006, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hellknight

When you first have left me
you never did say good-bye
I know you wanted to leave me
and yet I don't know why

Damn girl, you left me in the dark
its like something thats tearing me apart
if you want me to live, give me a little spark
and I want to say something from the heart

I always looked upon you
I remember you always smile
now your gone, I don't know what to do
my heart will last for only a little while

Is it because am a native?
Its something that I can't hide
why didn't you ever say this?
I would have shown my Indian pride

now we're no longer together
we should say something for our peace
so we could remember for this forever
and so we can go as we please

I remember we use to hold hands
and taking nice stroll walks
I know it had to be a 1 night stand
but all night we mostly talk

we said so much up all night
and we got some sleep right at dawn
we always looked at each other in the light
I know we always bond

I see you always so sad
and you have never cry
you never go so mad
but everthing will be alright

aw............

...thats a nice poem...

............

*hellknight* · Dec 07, 2006, 07:07 AM

long but dont know if its good enough....................

HieisLove · Dec 07, 2006, 07:20 AM

I like it. Its cool. the poem must been good enough to catch my attention lol keep it up dude!

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Dec 07, 2006, 07:33 AM

race never has a factor in love it never will and with how you
place this in the poem seems so sad and gives one something
to think about. i love how you poured you heart out like you felt
wronged in some way .
and the reason race isn't a factor because if you love someone
you don't see anything but the real them and that's all that matters.
very awesome poem.

*hellknight* · Dec 07, 2006, 07:35 AM

thankxx boss now i understand some things that had been said

xoxsakuraxox · Dec 07, 2006, 08:15 AM

wonderful peom, u should be a writer, or a song writer,

wonderful job keep up the good work

Loyal Prince · Dec 07, 2006, 08:59 AM

that was good man i like it it was wicked sad, and yet so............ wicked awesome

Dec 06, 2006, 10:33 AM	#1 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South dakota, Native American Posts: 1,448 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 15,699	left me When you first have left me you never did say good-bye I know you wanted to leave me and yet I don't know why Damn girl, you left me in the dark its like something thats tearing me apart if you want me to live, give me a little spark and I want to say something from the heart I always looked upon you I remember you always smile now your gone, I don't know what to do my heart will last for only a little while Is it because am a native? Its something that I can't hide why didn't you ever say this? I would have shown my Indian pride now we're no longer together we should say something for our peace so we could remember for this forever and so we can go as we please I remember we use to hold hands and taking nice stroll walks I know it had to be a 1 night stand but all night we mostly talk we said so much up all night and we got some sleep right at dawn we always looked at each other in the light I know we always bond I see you always so sad and you have never cry you never go so mad but everthing will be alright
Status: Offline

Dec 07, 2006, 02:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
Kasai Domme Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Florida Posts: 2,745 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,490	Re: left me A few grammatical errors need to be tended to. __________________ Seduced by Flesh
Status: Offline

Dec 07, 2006, 06:52 AM	#3 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South dakota, Native American Posts: 1,448 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 15,699	Re: left me you in english? lol just kiddin man yeah i guess your right
Status: Offline

Dec 07, 2006, 06:57 AM	#4 (permalink)
InsaneHoge Newbie Join Date: Nov 2004 Location: Netherlands - Amsterdam Posts: 4 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 10	Re: left me damn nice poem. i like it. it's a little long though but nice. I would grade it a nine __________________ Nice blood but the signature rules state that your main signature image may NOT exceed 500*115 pixels. -- Hassun
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Dec 07, 2006, 07:07 AM	#6 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South dakota, Native American Posts: 1,448 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 15,699	Re: left me long but dont know if its good enough....................
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Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Dec 07, 2006, 07:20 AM	#7 (permalink)
HieisLove Getting Married 3-14-09 Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: at home doing wedding planning Posts: 883 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,048	Re: left me I like it. Its cool. the poem must been good enough to catch my attention lol keep it up dude! __________________ ~Music Is My Boyfriend!!~
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Dec 07, 2006, 07:33 AM	#8 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice Tournaments Won: 1 King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,797 Thanks: 21 Thanked 21 Times in 20 Posts Credits: 3,320	Re: left me race never has a factor in love it never will and with how you place this in the poem seems so sad and gives one something to think about. i love how you poured you heart out like you felt wronged in some way . and the reason race isn't a factor because if you love someone you don't see anything but the real them and that's all that matters. very awesome poem. __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Dec 07, 2006, 07:35 AM	#9 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: South dakota, Native American Posts: 1,448 Thanks: 2 Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 15,699	Re: left me thankxx boss now i understand some things that had been said
Status: Offline

Dec 07, 2006, 08:15 AM	#10 (permalink)
xoxsakuraxox Newbie Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Novi, Michgan Posts: 2 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 110	Re: left me wonderful peom, u should be a writer, or a song writer, wonderful job keep up the good work
Status: Offline

Dec 07, 2006, 08:59 AM	#11 (permalink)
Loyal Prince Newbie Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: Somewhere Posts: 11 Thanks: 9 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 26	Re: left me that was good man i like it it was wicked sad, and yet so............ wicked awesome __________________
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