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Thread: Let Me See You Smile

  1. #9
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Let Me See You Smile

    very awesome poem this
    girl must have really made an impact on you
    with the words you used here.
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #10
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Let Me See You Smile

    it is the first time that i read your poem. i think it is the by product of the mind and heart... it makes me remember someone... wahehehe!!!

    But you'll keep crying,
    And I'll keep trying.
    You still don't love me,
    But at least now you're happy.
    these lines hits me hard... *ouch*

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  3. #11
    Newbie michiru726 may be famous one day michiru726 may be famous one day michiru726's Avatar
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    Re: Let Me See You Smile

    God.... that's....... wickedly brilliant.

    i love it to bits!!! i can relate to it... ^_^;; keep it up... i hope to see more of your works...

    "Deviously Revamped."



  4. #12
    Newbie Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior's Avatar
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    Re: Let Me See You Smile

    Wow I'm glad I was able to reach out to so many people. Those two are my most recent works and probably some of my best. Let me see what else I've got...not quite as good as the other two in my opinion but still has a place in my heart.

    My Personal Prison
    Daniel L. Carpenter
    5/31/06

    If I've got nothing to gain,
    should I keep up the lie?
    When all that's left is shame,
    can I break down and cry?

    I don't want to try,
    I can't quite explain.
    My soul has gone dry,
    none but me to blame.

    This life broke me down,
    it's standing in my way.
    They went and stole my crown,
    and now I've got to pay.

    But I haven't payed my dues,
    still time I gotta' serve.
    I'm runnin' outta clues,
    so I'm relying on my nerve.

    I'll finish my time,
    then I can break free.
    These dreams are still mine,
    and nothing's stopping me.
    Writing is life again.

  5. #13
    Otaku Rei_unit00 may be famous one day Rei_unit00 may be famous one day Rei_unit00's Avatar
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    Re: Let Me See You Smile

    another great poem, I don't think I have any advice to give in changing this one

    btw, you can always just post a new thread for each of you're poems, that way more people will stop and read them

  6. #14
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Let Me See You Smile

    So I swallow my heart,
    Play my own part.
    Let you cry for awhile,
    So I can see you smile
    wow! i really like this stanza, it was a well written poem man, keep it up.

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