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Reply With Quotedoin' it before nights end eh?
well now, I think the poem is good.. think it would sound better if it said "lets go there" instead of "here" ...dunno.
If you want no strings attahced thrill,
Lets do it before night ends.
Come lady of your own freewill.
A hurt heart with love fast mends.
Against the moon, wind whips your hair.
Lets do it before night ends.
Both of us try hard not to stare.
We both know it, lets go here,
Now, under stars in the night air.
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
Short but sweet. Give me some feedback on this one please.
doin' it before nights end eh?
well now, I think the poem is good.. think it would sound better if it said "lets go there" instead of "here" ...dunno.
... Not Ever Again...
!beast (Jun 04, 2009)
Thank you Peach_follows. That is the type of feedback I need from people. Now if I could only get someone to talk about Dwelling of the soul.Originally Posted by Peach_follows
This is really nice Poem. This poem will encourage me when ever i will do a difficult task. I like these kinds of poems which encourage the people.
!beast (Jun 05, 2009)
I like "lets go here" better because its more impulsive and in the moment than "lets go there". Just like the rest of the poem its all about that one moment.
Signature is a Gwenibe original.
!beast (Jun 07, 2009), Peach_follows (Jun 07, 2009)
yeah... I can see that.... good perspective. "There" sorta does get repetative in that stanza... sorta gets lost in all the "air" sounding words. So on second thought... Omit my first opinion.. (I am such a sheep right now) BAAaaaahhhhh.I like "lets go here" better because its more impulsive and in the moment than "lets go there"
... Not Ever Again...
!beast (Jun 07, 2009)
the poem is quite interesting to read but i just want to know about the author
!beast (Jun 08, 2009)
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