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Thread: Life !!

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Life !!

    I walk with the wind as the sun
    go's down a whisper ,a cry , a wimper
    the pain that never end's yet another
    statistic is overlooked tonight.

    How much longer will i linger here
    the pain of living never end's and
    the endless frustration that eats
    at me like a rabid dog that rips at flesh
    with a blood lust.

    No one around for fear's sake
    it's all so bleak and dreary
    it make's me wonder if i myself
    am growing numb to the life
    that's slowly dieing around me.

    So i will sit here in my prison of
    dispair and wait for life to find me
    or death to enjoy me becuause i
    see nothing but darkness now
    and i dont mind it.

    this just came to me at the spur of the moment
    its a difrent way of writing but tel me what you think and
    comments and sugestions are welcome
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    Wow,this was awesome! It was so dark.I loved it
    My fav. part is...

    I walk with the wind as the sun
    go's down a whisper ,a cry , a wimper
    the pain that never end's yet another
    statistic is overlooked tonight.


    Awesome job
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  3. #3
    Stray Sheep Aya-kun may be famous one day Aya-kun may be famous one day Aya-kun's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    How much longer will i linger here
    the pain of living never end's and
    the endless frustration that eats
    at me like a rabid dog that rips at flesh
    with a blood lust

    "with a blood lust" << too short for an end ... ^^lll but it's okee. there are poems with short endings.. ^^
    I like that stanza.. i dont know why! X3
    baa~! not bad. keep it up~! wakaka~!
    [CENTER]+ Sheep Blogs at PaperDiaries +

  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    I walk with the wind as the sun
    go's down a whisper ,a cry , a wimper
    the pain that never end's yet another
    statistic is overlooked tonight.

    I think the second verse needs to be chnaged a bit. Wording seems iffy.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #5
    Otaku N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n may be famous one day N!tr0-Glyc3r1n's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    So i will sit here in my prison of
    dispair and wait for life to find me
    or death to enjoy me becuause i
    see nothing but darkness now
    and i dont mind it.


    that was my fav part great job Chris


    thank u SasuraiHell
    go -=NOOBZ=- clan!

  6. #6
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    Dude!!!!!!!I love it!!! Keep it up!!
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

  7. #7
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    I liked it.It was kinda dark which is what I guess you were going for,but it was good.

  8. #8
    Devil's Advocate TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23's Avatar
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    Re: Life !!

    Bullshxt gets old doesn't it, Cupholder? Anyways, enjoyed the poem, made plenty of sense. Good job.
    NoT tHe SiGgY yOu R lOOkInG 4
    Move Along.

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