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| Bio-Engineered Human Race Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In a Purified Realm Of Lightness
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![]() Credits: 25,127 | Life love (short verse) Till' i come down in pain that goes with vein i realease trust over you Till' i go towards you i fall upon your glistening eyes that wonders in heaven I go forth into calling your name and give you warmth of love that pursues me I go forth into graving my love into your heart for caring each other for life.
__________________ Getting away from conflicts can get you far, but also can get you into more chaos. |アスタロス| |
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![]() Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Sep 2007 Location: In a house. ._.
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![]() Credits: 6,477 | wow...it's short and sweet, and i agree with the one above me....alot of emotion is shown -zainab
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![]() Happy Birthday Aya! Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Lional - You will not find it unless I finish making it
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![]() ![]() Credits: 31,146 | Re: Life love (short verse) looks to me like you're trying way too hard to make it sound fancy. some of the words are jumbled and don't fit well with the rythm of the poem at all. the emotion is there, but like i said, to me it feels you're trying to impress someone instead of writing it for yourself. |
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| Bio-Engineered Human Race Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In a Purified Realm Of Lightness
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![]() Credits: 25,127 | Re: Life love (short verse) Quote:
__________________ Getting away from conflicts can get you far, but also can get you into more chaos. |アスタロス| | |
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![]() 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better...
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![]() ![]() Credits: 59,502 | Re: Life love (short verse) agree with others... this is short but very meaningful ^^ keep up the good work.. ![]() |
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