Lifes clock

i hope you all like this, i don't know what sorta poem it is..it may not be a poem i which i have messed up and do apologise, the poem is about how many people allow their lives to be ruled rather take control of it

Please enjoy

Tick...You Are Born
Tock...Your Life is planned out by those you consider your peers
Tick...You Follow that plan and the last letter
Tock... You allow that Plan to consume you even after you break the chains of your Peers and become your own superior
Tick...You finally come to realise life is too short to follow any plan and attempt to finally rule your own existance
Tock...You seem to finally be able to break the chains that bind you but by then
DONG!...You Pass on and now you may use a eternity to regret that you refused to Live and allowed others to live it for you

Very unusual in terms of structure...which i believe is something you must work on.I didn't really find the poem flowing that well at all,but please don't take offense to that remark.However,it isn't too bad in terms of quality.

It isunusual, I agree. I couldn't get it at first. The lines might've been broken down. It needs more working ?^_^
Btw long time no see!