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Thread: Lifes clock

  1. #1
    Newbie Shichiya may be famous one day Shichiya may be famous one day Shichiya's Avatar
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    Lifes clock

    i hope you all like this, i don't know what sorta poem it is..it may not be a poem i which i have messed up and do apologise, the poem is about how many people allow their lives to be ruled rather take control of it

    Please enjoy

    Tick...You Are Born
    Tock...Your Life is planned out by those you consider your peers
    Tick...You Follow that plan and the last letter
    Tock... You allow that Plan to consume you even after you break the chains of your Peers and become your own superior
    Tick...You finally come to realise life is too short to follow any plan and attempt to finally rule your own existance
    Tock...You seem to finally be able to break the chains that bind you but by then
    DONG!...You Pass on and now you may use a eternity to regret that you refused to Live and allowed others to live it for you

  2. #2
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: Lifes clock

    Very unusual in terms of structure...which i believe is something you must work on.I didn't really find the poem flowing that well at all,but please don't take offense to that remark.However,it isn't too bad in terms of quality.

  3. #3
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Lifes clock

    It isunusual, I agree. I couldn't get it at first. The lines might've been broken down. It needs more working ?^_^
    Btw long time no see!

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