I'm not your ordinary girl
Not living in an extrodinary world
Life isn't all lavish and glam
Not everything falls in the palm of your hands
Got kicked out my house several times
started a life of sex, drugs, and crime
Gave my innocence to a thirty year old man
who's name I didn't even know
Found comfort in the one place I called my home.
It was decorated with cheetah prints all around
adorned with many females not daring to make a sound
Worked for him for awhile, selling my new found woman hood and cutting him half.
Made perfect since to me since It was all that was valuable that I had.
Started to smoke that cush.
Got me high a few times I admit.
Had that certain thing I was looking for.
Had that rush.
I had the chance to escape my pain
Go off to another world
Transform to a woman from a little naive girl.
I felt important, Felt wanted and needed.
For once in my short life, I felt as if I wasn't going to be cheated.
Eventually things got heated and the abuse came.
He wanted more from me
He wanted me to get more street fame.
I didn't want to be another one
another one of his hoes
another one of his bit*es
not another scattered across the floor.
So I ran, ran as fast as my blistering feet could take me
Away from it all
Away from the misery.
Eventually I went back home, lived pretty decent life up till now.
Left my mommas house
Got kicked out.
She called me fast, said I was a hoe.
She has no right to judge me
She doesn't know me anymore.
That woman has no idea how messed up these past years have been to me.
I went from sleeping comfortably
to relying on the streets.
Now I live alone
with no one but my bear and notebook
It holds my secrets
For no one but me to look
If I open it, my life spills from its pages.
Most things said unheard
Most things unheard...already said
The type of things most familys talk about at family meetings.
Where they work out their differences
We don't even give each other greetings.
I'm an outcast to them. The disgrace.
The one grandchild who seems to dishonor her entire race.
They think just because I conceived but never delivered I'm a whore.
They don't know what It was like sleping around just to get by
Like your some kind of common whore.
Holdays are the worst times of the year
My family keeps to them selves.
No merry holiday songs.
No happy holiday cheer.
Just occasional calls that last less than two seconds
Just a hi and bye
I don't even recieve one.
But that is to be expected.
So here I am explaining half my teenage years unto people I don't know
Mot people prefer to keep it locked up inside
Most people prefer for it to stay private
But I finally relaized that my story needs to be shared.
Shared to let every naive little dream land person know
Life isn't always a fairy tale