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Thread: Light or DArk?

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    Banned ABC Crazy Champion flaminghate may be famous one day flaminghate may be famous one day
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    Light or DArk?

    I can't help but feel that the dark,
    has left nothing but a mark,
    I find the light more appealing.
    While I find the dark fearing,
    with the light eating my soul,
    I will once be whole.
    And with that have been said,
    I will no longer be dead.

  2. #2
    Abomination Smacky Champion, Celebrity Power Lifte Champion, Crash Test Dummy High Jump Champion, Super Track 2001 Champion, Endless Flight Champion, Drop Kick Champion, Bloody Rage Champion, Dropkick The Faint Champion, Splash Back Champion Spin Da Ish is off to a good start Spin Da Ish's Avatar
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    Re: Light or DArk?

    really short and it looks liek you spent les sthan five minutes. Sorry taht im critisizing you so hard its just that i want to say what i'd like to say and isay you should go with this and make it longer. It would be more interesting than your 8 lined one.

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    Otaku arubberchicken is off to a good start arubberchicken's Avatar
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    Re: Light or DArk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Spin Da Ish View Post
    really short and it looks liek you spent les sthan five minutes. Sorry taht im critisizing you so hard its just that i want to say what i'd like to say and isay you should go with this and make it longer. It would be more interesting than your 8 lined one.
    wow.. ur really mean.. i thought it was ok, but not the best... i do agree that u should work on it more.... but i dont want to sound as mean as this person....

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    Re: Light or DArk?

    I thought it was a short and to the point poem that had some good lines. The only one that sounded like it was a little off was "I will once be whole". It saying that you will be whole but it sounds like u are saying that you are already whole. I would work on it and fix that line but other than that I liked the poem.

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    Banned ABC Crazy Champion flaminghate may be famous one day flaminghate may be famous one day
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    Re: Light or DArk?

    most of the poems I write are old like about 2 or 4 years,thats why this one is like this but hey,it's short but sweet ^_^ love it or hate it,thats what I say

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    Re: Light or DArk?

    It really doent look like you spent very much time on this.... it could have been better.

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    Re: Light or DArk?

    Quote Originally Posted by demonic_anger View Post
    It really doent look like you spent very much time on this.... it could have been better.
    well I only spent 1 minute on this poem 1 year ago I forgot that I had it so quit your complaining

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    Re: Light or DArk?

    i like it! alot! and i think u did awsom on it! do u still write now?

    IN THE END IT DOSENT EVEN MATTER

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