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Thread: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    Rest easy now
    While I keep awake
    Slipping into some kind of madness
    Slumped over writing to myself
    About myself
    So I can save my breath on sadness
    Use it for a sunny day
    To take you all down
    To a dreary starless obscurity
    I hope you sleep well
    Sleep for the both of us
    Dream of me
    As bright as a December morning
    In a sinless snow
    And when you rise
    I will be here
    Ready to bring you down

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  2. #2
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    wow this poem is pretty dark as hell, nicely well written nympho keep it up girl.

  3. #3
    Otaku zeroenix may be famous one day zeroenix may be famous one day zeroenix's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    Badass. I like how dark it is.

    +=My Space=+ Thanks zeroenix for the sig and avi... wait that's me. +=zeroenix.net=+

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    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    you went from talking about slumping and righting in a cornor to way out there on me.
    Rest easy now

    While I keep awake
    Slipping into some kind of madness
    Slumped over writing to myself
    About myself
    << my favorite part of the poem i can sense the emotion here very vivid ; like ur sitting alone at night thinking about what could have been.
    So I can save my breath on sadness
    Use it for a sunny day
    To take you all down
    To a dreary starless obscurity
    <<though i wish u had continued to stay in ur room and think of sadness, u saved it to destroy people so anti-climatic of you >_<, someone that is depressed that is having dreams of brings others around them down as well. i love it yet... i still wish it didn't jump off the first topic T_T.

    I hope you sleep well
    Sleep for the both of us
    Dream of me <<this baffels me, u hate them u bring them down... yet u want them to dream of... prehaps u want them to remember the hate u had for them and make them experience the same hate ^_^
    As bright as a December morning
    In a sinless snow
    And when you rise
    I will be here
    Ready to bring you down

    A nice ending the poem overall is a great success, it couldve went in 2 different directions and you decided to show us this one , prehaps a part 2??? or end the poem with you back in your room. might end it better but i doubt it; the ending is good as it is ^_^
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

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    Sophist of Satire Exoparadapsyphobia may be famous one day Exoparadapsyphobia may be famous one day Exoparadapsyphobia's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    One thing I think you should consider naming your poem, dead stars don't fall, they explode violenty.
    Death is your most loyal companion, for he will never fail you.

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    Wow the biggest response on any of my poetry yet! What it is about really. Is i have insomnia and at the time i was depressed. And my fiance always went to bed with no problems in the world. I was jealous of his ability to just shut his eyes and he would be away from me, dreaming. And i would be alone, with myself to keep me company. Its hard to explain but i hope you get it! The poem should be the "read inbetween the lines"

    @ EXO-I never name my poems. Just give it some wierd headline.

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

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    Cheetos Overlord jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit may be famous one day jaderabbit's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    Yah yah, i hate when people dont give me good critque! i like them to put thereselves in the poem not just reply to add they post count up. Glad you enjoyed my respnse i understand what you are talking about.
    -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate-
    |THE INFAMOUS CHEETOS OVERLORD||IceNineKills|

  8. #8
    Otaku pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru may be famous one day pigtaru's Avatar
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    Re: Like a Bad star I'm falling....

    Quote Originally Posted by Nympho
    Rest easy now
    While I keep awake
    Slipping into some kind of madness
    Slumped over writing to myself
    About myself
    So I can save my breath on sadness
    Use it for a sunny day

    To take you all down
    To a dreary starless obscurity
    I hope you sleep well
    Sleep for the both of us
    Dream of me
    As bright as a December morning
    In a sinless snow

    And when you rise
    I will be here
    Ready to bring you down
    The whole poem puts me in a very tranquil state...i would love to sleep to your readings, lol ... I bolded the lines that brought a smile to my tired face during the reading..., you are so good, I am lame..I quit!

    o~Piggy-san~o

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