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Thread: Little Brother

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    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Little Brother

    This was a recent poem I've written many times before, but I feel like it doesn't have enough.....rhytem in it.



    We use to play hide and seek
    It was your favorite game
    It all never changed a bit
    Things are always just the same

    You like all type's of games
    Especially Tic-Tac-Toe
    You even love those new game consoles
    Including the old-school Nintendo

    You never put down the controller
    Not even turning the T.V. off
    You never made a single noise
    Not even a sniff or a cough

    Hey Little Brother
    Lets go out and play
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets go out everyday
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets never try to stray

  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: Little Brother

    Hey Little Brother
    Lets go out and play
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets go out everyday
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets never try to stray
    That little part doesnt fit where it is. If you could take two lines and
    put them at the end of each stanza it might work like this.


    We use to play hide and seek
    It was your favorite game
    It all never changed a bit
    Things are always just the same
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets go out and play

    You like all type's of games
    Especially Tic-Tac-Toe
    You even love those new game consoles
    Including the old-school Nintendo
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets go out everyday


    You never put down the controller
    Not even turning the T.V. off
    You never made a single noise
    Not even a sniff or a cough
    Hey Little Brother
    Lets never try to stray

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

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