Little Poor Boy

*hellknight* · Mar 07, 2007, 10:41 AM

A little boy in his closet
Willing to dig his own grave
Always doing work in his house
His family turned him into a slave

Father beated him almost everyday
Kept on hitting him till he cried
Mother Threw's him around the house
Wishing that her son had died

Big brother pushing him around
Bullying him at his school
Little sister calling him names
This boy's life was never cool.

Thought of these last night lol. ^_^

*Peach_follows* · Mar 13, 2007, 01:18 PM

Tragic poem.... It was sounding okay to me. I like the rythm of it... but It kind of left me hanging at the end. It seemed like an unfinished story.

Overall though, I like this piece. keep it up.

*hellknight* · Mar 14, 2007, 10:31 AM

Am good at beginnings but not endings its too sad for me homes lol, thanks for the comment though.

*RayMe* · Mar 14, 2007, 10:35 AM

Some sad poem... what would the ending be?
If i was this guy...I'd dug my grave sooner..but he is patience i guess...

*hellknight* · Mar 14, 2007, 10:39 AM

OOOO hurtful Rayme, hurtful, lol nah I just can't think of any endings, thanks for the.....comment.

Mar 07, 2007, 10:41 AM	#1 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere in SD. Posts: 1,566 Thanks: 7 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts Credits: 22,554	Little Poor Boy A little boy in his closet Willing to dig his own grave Always doing work in his house His family turned him into a slave Father beated him almost everyday Kept on hitting him till he cried Mother Threw's him around the house Wishing that her son had died Big brother pushing him around Bullying him at his school Little sister calling him names This boy's life was never cool. Thought of these last night lol. ^_^
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Mar 13, 2007, 01:18 PM	#2 (permalink)
Peach_follows Moving right along.... Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Friendly Fridley Posts: 1,165 Thanks: 62 Thanked 64 Times in 56 Posts Credits: 3,512	Re: Little Poor Boy Tragic poem.... It was sounding okay to me. I like the rythm of it... but It kind of left me hanging at the end. It seemed like an unfinished story. Overall though, I like this piece. keep it up. __________________ If you don't like my peaches. Don't shake my tree. http://www.myspace.com/j1gg481tt
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Mar 14, 2007, 10:31 AM	#3 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere in SD. Posts: 1,566 Thanks: 7 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts Credits: 22,554	Re: Little Poor Boy Am good at beginnings but not endings its too sad for me homes lol, thanks for the comment though.
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Mar 14, 2007, 10:35 AM	#4 (permalink)
RayMe 1 )3^^( )N Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Somewhere i would love to leave right now for somewhere better... Posts: 3,606 Thanks: 55 Thanked 27 Times in 24 Posts Credits: 59,502	Re: Little Poor Boy Some sad poem... what would the ending be? If i was this guy...I'd dug my grave sooner..but he is patience i guess... __________________ Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!! The best ever Lasura~! >>>myspace<<<
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Mar 14, 2007, 10:39 AM	#5 (permalink)
hellknight Hell Enforcer Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Somewhere in SD. Posts: 1,566 Thanks: 7 Thanked 8 Times in 8 Posts Credits: 22,554	Re: Little Poor Boy OOOO hurtful Rayme, hurtful, lol nah I just can't think of any endings, thanks for the.....comment.
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