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Thread: Living Life With Hate

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Living Life With Hate

    If life is what you make it
    then why was i made to hate
    what i am ? the love ,the pain
    it all numbs me to the bone with sadness.

    No smile,no remorse,no twinkle from a tear
    falling down my cheek, no not anything like that
    just a chilling thought of you being here, near a heart
    that was meant to be rejected by anything near and dear to me.

    It repulses me with how i can be so kind to you as, i want to
    just walk away from you with your heart in my hand so i can give
    it to another for i feel unworthy if such loyalty and devotion from
    anyone that is so innocent and as wonderful as you are to me.

    Yes i often ask my self why life is what i make it if all i get is
    hate from it ,it's not what i want at all but its all i get from it
    and it makes me recoil from your touch,your love,and your kindness
    and passion, i must be going mad with how i want to reject you but i can't.

    It's 2 am and my heart is heavy with guilty as, i lay here next to you looking
    at you sleeping comfterbly knowing it will soon be over , my love for you is
    gone why must my life be so damning when i need someone like you
    but i refuse to accept it ,as lay here next to you i say to hell with life
    because i need you but cant have you so i will leave forever.

    ok i tried a difrent way this time by extending the lines a bit
    i have seen alot of people do this so i thought i would try
    hope i did ok with this because i found it easier to do it like this.
    anyway comments and sugestions are welcomed
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Devil's Advocate TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    The most I'd say you'd need to work on is punctuation and spelling........I know how it is, typing in a hurry. I liked the poem.......it reminds me of how I feel.......Is this how you feel? That you can't seem to express any emotion but anger and hate?That if you let your defenses down, it's just an invitation to the killing blow?
    When you let someone see your true heart, does it seem to go badly?

    If this is how you feel plenty of times.............Well, no wonder we get along so well!!
    Keep up the poetry groove!!
    NoT tHe SiGgY yOu R lOOkInG 4
    Move Along.

  3. #3
    Otaku kenchi18 may be famous one day kenchi18 may be famous one day kenchi18's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    That's a good poem I love hereing poems kinda gives me a calm feeling.
    Your life means nothing to me.

  4. #4
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    thanks and i know my punctuation and spelling sucks but i dont have spell check on my pc so i sort of hit and miss alot . i am trying to improve my spelling and punctuation but i am glad that you liked it i am sure i will get better
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  5. #5
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    The poem to long lines and needs correciĆ³n
    but still prettu dark just the way i like em.



    perdoname michelle!

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    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    That was really good big bro I could feel the sadness,anger and pain from this poem.This was truly sad and yet wonderful all at the sometime.Yet another wonderful poem big bro.
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  7. #7
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    thanks i am glad you liked is lil sis and i am glad you saw what i was trying to do here i will imporve though on the punctuation and spelling next poem i hope
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Living Life With Hate

    Hey Bro! That was great, gets you thinking and and allows you to see the pain and suffering of living a life of hate! Great Job!


    "Look for the mischievous paw prints in the sand, and as they disappear into this earth torn land. Will they be true or stay forever blue? That's were this BlueFox will stand."

    BlueFox1

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