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Thread: Living Torment

  1. #1
    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    Living Torment

    Why do you stare at me?
    With such looks of disgust.
    Does my life effect you that much,
    That you have to really show it?
    I really do feel sorry for you,
    Not being able to think for yourself.
    But following others in everything,
    Trying so hard to "fit in".
    Yet your opinion doesn't bother me,
    Its the fact you openly show it.
    So why don't you get a life,
    And stop trying to ruin mine.
    I don't care that I dress differently,
    I'm only being me.
    So why don't you do the same,
    Or run away if you value your life.
    Because I've had enough of your type,
    Why not do yourself a favour and die.
    You little pathetic Chav!
    Last edited by Sazzy; Jan 10, 2008 at 05:21 PM.
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  2. #2
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Living Torment

    Wow...Sazzy! I can definitely feel the emotion flowing throughout this poem! The only thing I would suggest would be breaking it down into stanzas but then again the format you have it in seems to work well with this style of poem! I absolutely love that way you just let the words that are bouncing around your mind as you wrote this carry the emotion through out the poem. All I can say is that who ever this is I would personally hate to be him right now! Overall well though out poem and nice solid flow. I would expect nothing less from the woman known as Major Saz!

  3. #3
    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
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    Re: Living Torment

    Thank you for your comment BlueFox, its good that you understand the emotion I tried to put it. The concept on this poem relates more to the balance in social groups and how here in England there is one social group that thinks they are all better than everyone and its something I really detest. I have even been given weird looks by such a social group because I dress like I do and really it doesn't bother me much, I just hate all the bad looks they give me. That's why I wrote the poem.
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  4. #4
    NalaMidnight Eggs Champion P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess may be famous one day P.R. Princess's Avatar
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    Re: Living Torment

    I really like it.
    The flow of it was nice and it is very clear and easy to understand.
    Keep up the good work. Love it. ^^

    ~Falling in love one step at a time~
    ~ MYSPACE~AWESOME PLACE TO SAVE~

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