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Thread: Lonelyness/friendship

  1. #1
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Lonelyness/friendship

    What is the reason for lonelyness?
    I know I seek solitude but does
    solitude always conclude in lonelyness?
    I have always sought out sollitude.
    Since I was younger I thought that if
    I were always alond and never around anyone,
    I would be able to be myself without people hating me for it.
    When I got older though, this feeling of
    lonelyness suddenly became too much.
    After a while I had made friends, and then
    I realized I did not need to be alone because there are alot of good people in the world.
    My friends helped me to see this, within the last year
    I had changed my attitude but still liked to be alone but not as much.
    I may have sought to be alone when I was down,
    but in times to come I hope to get over that.
    I have always thought that if I were left alone then
    I would not have to worry about anyone else but myself.
    Now thought, it has all changed.
    I wanna be with all my friends, they are what is keeping me through this life.
    I hope that I can stay in contact with everyone I know right now.
    One thing for sure is though,
    I have started to go back to my old ways of thinking.
    I do not know what has come over me to wanna be alone again but something has.
    my friends, I am asking you to help me once again, like you did before.
    You brought me out of the dark.
    I hope you can do this again.
    I dont expect much but I do wanna feel whole again.
    I may not have had many friends to begin with but with time
    I hope to have more friends,
    this way I always have someone to talk to when
    I get in this mood.
    Last edited by Ichigo_06; Jul 10, 2007 at 07:42 PM.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    §-Breakdown-§ Breakout Champion, Bubble Popper Champion Akura13 may be famous one day Akura13's Avatar
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    Oh wow i loved this! It was so wonderful! Keep up the good work and hope to see more!



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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    You have the right idea and a lot of good wordings in there, but it isn't in poem format even a bit. Break it into stanzas;

    What is the reason for lonelyness?
    I know I seed solitude
    but does solitude always conclude in lonelyness?


    Just like that. Keep up the writing, great premise for the poem by the way.
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

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    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    thanks guys I will put into stanzas too so yeah thank you for your input.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

  5. #5
    Àddïctëd tø |ăüghïñg :) Sonny Sunshine Champion, Volcano Champion, Aquarium Sprengischen Champion, Spiderman Web of Words Champion, Look Alive Champion iluvmyloser is off to a good start iluvmyloser's Avatar
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    wow long poems u write there ehh? well i liked ur strong meanings into the poem keep up the good work♥~*theprincess*~♥
    Yeah, Bye.

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    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    yeha I have a tendency to just freeright so my poems always turn out long. anyways thank you guys for the feedback it is trully appreciated.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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    Otaku Reese may be famous one day Reese may be famous one day
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    As said above this poem desperately needs to be broken down into stanzas.

    A nice attempt, but the poem sounded more like a story than anything else.
    Try to express your perspective on lonliness/friendship with metaphors, similes etc. Don't just write down your life story.

  8. #8
    Dragonrider Ichigo_06 is off to a good start Ichigo_06's Avatar
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    Re: Lonelyness/friendship

    ok thanks for your imput then I appreciate it alot.
    ナサン フォオツド
    Keep what you hold dear close for one day they may be gone forever!
    Make one person smile for it will continue to spread but if you make a frown that will spread as well.http://www.animeonline.net/gallery/s...0/ppuser/57173

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