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Thread: Lost Life

  1. #1
    Otaku Fling The Candidate Champion thefallenangel is off to a good start thefallenangel's Avatar
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    Lost Life

    in class we have been working on poems about japan that our teacher want to send in to a book callen WE ARE JAPAN...mine is a different version of when love says good bye... enjoy!

    Eyes blood shot,

    A child in hand
    This sad girl roams the land.

    The wreckage all around her,
    Becomes too much.
    She can't believe her eyes,
    And breaks down and crys.

    She looked around and saw her love,
    And bid him a goodbye.
    Every time she closes her eyes
    She starts to cry.

    It took three long days ,
    To finaly confirm,
    That this was the end
    Of every thing she had once learned.

    Eyes blood shot,
    A child in hand
    This sad girl roams the land
    Last edited by thefallenangel; Mar 18, 2011 at 12:01 PM. Reason: miss spellings

    Love looks with not the eyes, but with the mind.
    (midsummer night dream)

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    Re: Lost Life

    This is nice.. simple and easy to understand however, description is vital in this kind of poems :3 try to imagine the condition that character might be in and try to understand what you'd feel in her shoes...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
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