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Thread: Lost umung the Living

  1. #1
    Newbie Moon Doggy may be famous one day Moon Doggy may be famous one day Moon Doggy's Avatar
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    Lost umung the Living

    I am lost.
    There is no where left to go
    I am Lost among the living and you don't know

    You don't know how I feel
    You don't know who I am
    You won't accept me

    Nothing is rite
    I walk around like a drone
    Not Living nor dead

    I walk around alone and lost

    Nothing is rite
    I am A drone
    Not Living nor Loving

    What is left of who I am
    So much has been taken
    So much has been lost

    I am not living nor dead

    The pain in my head grows
    The crack of my bones sharpens
    My eyes lose lust
    My hair grows dull

    Yet you don't know
    No one knows


    And no one ever will

    I am lost among the living
    I am an outcast thrown to the wind...
    Last edited by Moon Doggy; Jul 03, 2006 at 03:49 PM.
    Moving on Is the hardest Part

  2. #2
    Newbie Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior's Avatar
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    Re: Lost umung the Living

    *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. For starters friends, run it through Word first. Spelling errors all over the place. Among, not umung. It's living, not liveing, and it's right, not rite. And the whole thing is so cliche; I hate life, everyone ignores me, my life is terrible, I hate everyone. Try to think a little outside the box on that. Find a more specific topic. That and get a bit more creative.
    Writing is life again.

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    Otaku forever a dreamer may be famous one day forever a dreamer may be famous one day forever a dreamer's Avatar
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    Re: Lost umung the Living

    well, Immortal Warrior seems to have covered all the mistakes - but i thought that it was a very good poem - but i do agree that you made it a bit to dreary , but over all, 2 thumbs up!
    You laugh at me because I'm different. I laugh at you because your all the same.

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    Re: Lost umung the Living

    Quote Originally Posted by Immortal Warrior
    *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. For starters friends, run it through Word first. Spelling errors all over the place. Among, not umung. It's living, not liveing, and it's right, not rite. And the whole thing is so cliche; I hate life, everyone ignores me, my life is terrible, I hate everyone. Try to think a little outside the box on that. Find a more specific topic. That and get a bit more creative.
    I totally agree with you Immortal Warrior
    WHATISTHATBIGLONGBUTTONONTHEBOTTOMOFTHEKEYBOREDFOR !?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

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    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Lost umung the Living

    Quote Originally Posted by Immortal Warrior
    *siiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. For starters friends, run it through Word first. Spelling errors all over the place. Among, not umung. It's living, not liveing, and it's right, not rite. And the whole thing is so cliche; I hate life, everyone ignores me, my life is terrible, I hate everyone. Try to think a little outside the box on that. Find a more specific topic. That and get a bit more creative.
    lol dude! although, there were many errors, the pome was really great.

  6. #6
    Newbie Moon Doggy may be famous one day Moon Doggy may be famous one day Moon Doggy's Avatar
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    Re: Lost umung the Living

    I really don't care about spelling and my life sucks rite now....everything is falling apart and i want to die horibly...so next time don't read my poems if you want something more ... spacific...i don't have to submitt these so ya know i do it for my self not for your pleasure...it feels good when someone puts me down so thank you Immortal Warrior it was verry kind of you to give me that satisfaction >:}

    p.s. there i fixed it!!!!! and i am thirteen...do you really expect me to pay anyattention in Grammar?!?!?!?!...Plus you should be able to tell be the way i rite that i have really sucky friends!
    Last edited by Moon Doggy; Jul 03, 2006 at 03:52 PM.
    Moving on Is the hardest Part

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    Newbie Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior may be famous one day Immortal Warrior's Avatar
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    Re: Lost umung the Living

    Boohoo, I'm 15 and I was using correct grammar when I was 11. Sure life is shit, we all know that, but we make do with what we've got. If you don't want someone to take your work seriously, then don't post it here, because we're not all going to say "oh it's so wonderful you're amazing," when you spell a word like right, wrong. And next time, I won't waste my time editing your stuff for you, so you're welcome for the helpful input, and kid...come on, get your head out of your ass. No matter how bad life is, there's always something more that we can make out of it. Even when there's nothing left to live for, nothing more to gain, keep going just to prove that life can't beat you. I'm stubborn, and it's pulled me through when I'm taking damage, and I know it can't beat you down. There's always something more that we can do to make life better. Keep looking for it. Good luck.
    Writing is life again.

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