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Thread: A Love

  1. #9
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: A Love

    There was emotion. But the poem seemed stiff. Soem verses didnt transition well, and it just seemed dusty. Nothing fresh about the poem.
    Seduced by Flesh


  2. #10
    Otaku Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward may be famous one day Pride_Edward's Avatar
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    Re: A Love

    ..And it would be better if you entitled the poem My love for my Best Friend...almost any other poem has love entitled in it so making another titale would be better....but it's still a good one...^_^

  3. #11
    Otaku -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=- may be famous one day -=Broken^Halo=-'s Avatar
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    Re: A Love

    o.0 interesting.. Hmm.. A bit to straight forward for me.. try rewording some stuff to make it sound more.. "fancy" if you will.. spice it up a bit.. catch the readers eye, but the emotion was strong,

    -Keep it up ^.^
    Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23

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