forever with you
till the end
my dear friend
your my confidant
my shoulder to lean on
my friend that sits near me
the one that swears
to be with me
my love with me
my love besides me
your my everything
my right for my wrong
my left for my right
th chorus of my song
this may have no purpose
but to let you know
that we'll be together
during the time we grow
This writing is quite direct, short, has very small lines, but the message gets throughl. I prefer when the thoughts are more developed, as you only placed very brute thoughts. If you could deepen the meaning of each thought, I'd sure be ready to read it all no matter what the lengh. Shortness is sometimes good too when you don't have much time...
*claps* thankies actullelly it was just a random poem
Originally Posted by Soldat of life
Random poems are good. But it's the revising that most people dont think about. After I write a poem I let it sit for about 30 mins and come back to it. Then I see all of the things I need to correct or change. I'd suggest that for you.
Originally Posted by LostbutFound
ok thanks for the advice i'll try it and mabey a poem will come out better
happpy time happy times, your good with this keep it up!!!!!!
thanks hellnight thank you all for the comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
That was really wonderful, wish I could do that randomly. I only write poetry well when I'm depressed and that really sucks. Keep up the good work though.