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Thread: Love

  1. #1
    Otaku LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound's Avatar
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    Love

    true love
    gods gift
    from above
    forever with you
    till the end
    with me
    my dear friend
    your my confidant
    my shoulder to lean on
    my friend that sits near me
    the one that swears
    to be with me
    my love with me
    my love besides me
    my laughter
    my joy
    your my everything
    my right for my wrong
    my left for my right
    th chorus of my song
    this may have no purpose
    but to let you know
    that we'll be together
    during the time we grow
    my friend
    my love
    Don't tell me the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon


  2. #2
    RPG Lord and Master/Poet Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life may be famous one day Soldat of life's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    This writing is quite direct, short, has very small lines, but the message gets throughl. I prefer when the thoughts are more developed, as you only placed very brute thoughts. If you could deepen the meaning of each thought, I'd sure be ready to read it all no matter what the lengh. Shortness is sometimes good too when you don't have much time...
    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    My favorite philosopher:
    Hassun

    Thanks to Xelhes for this amazing work of art ^.^
    Poetry Corner CLICK HERE IF YOU KNOW ME

  3. #3
    Otaku LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    Quote Originally Posted by Soldat of life View Post
    This writing is quite direct, short, has very small lines, but the message gets throughl. I prefer when the thoughts are more developed, as you only placed very brute thoughts. If you could deepen the meaning of each thought, I'd sure be ready to read it all no matter what the lengh. Shortness is sometimes good too when you don't have much time...
    *claps* thankies actullelly it was just a random poem
    Don't tell me the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon


  4. #4
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    Quote Originally Posted by LostbutFound View Post
    *claps* thankies actullelly it was just a random poem
    Random poems are good. But it's the revising that most people dont think about. After I write a poem I let it sit for about 30 mins and come back to it. Then I see all of the things I need to correct or change. I'd suggest that for you.
    Seduced by Flesh


  5. #5
    Otaku LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    ok thanks for the advice i'll try it and mabey a poem will come out better
    Don't tell me the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon


  6. #6
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    happpy time happy times, your good with this keep it up!!!!!!

  7. #7
    Otaku LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound may be famous one day LostbutFound's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    thanks hellnight thank you all for the comment!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Don't tell me the sky is the limit, when there are footprints on the moon


  8. #8
    ~Counting Down the Days~ NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin may be famous one day NevesElocin's Avatar
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    Re: Love

    That was really wonderful, wish I could do that randomly. I only write poetry well when I'm depressed and that really sucks. Keep up the good work though.

    Our love will go on until the end of time. I will always be yours and you will be mine.

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