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Thread: love to death

  1. #1
    ★~Ao's Irish Fariy ~★ equinn may be famous one day equinn may be famous one day equinn's Avatar
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    love to death

    love to death


    I sit near the pond looking towards the sky

    I realize I’m not good enough for you

    I know I can’t be what you need

    I’m not worth your love

    But my love for you bleeds though my heart

    Every part of me loves you

    But I can’t live to see you with another

    I know your turn of me I know you don’t love me the same

    So with this clean sharp knife

    I stab my heart the one thing that gives me pain and love

    I do this for you

    Since I know I will never give up loving you

    Ill be dead before I see you with another

    Now lying in a pool of my own blood

    Never to return again

  2. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    Eeep xP A very sad poem, and there is more darkness than love in it, bu still love the contrast

  3. #3
    Angelic Lasura may be famous one day Lasura's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    I just love this poem of yours, equinn, it's wonderful, so full of feelings, it almost made me cry... there's enough love and enough darkness in it for me...
    I think everything is perfect in this one!!! An exellent work!!! Thank you for this, I enjoyed reading it soooo much!

    My recommended fanfic: "Dreamer" by Scourge

  4. #4
    ★~Ao's Irish Fariy ~★ equinn may be famous one day equinn may be famous one day equinn's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    hehe thanks for the comments i got the love and darkness in it then ^__^

  5. #5
    Otaku Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me may be famous one day Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me may be famous one day Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    Lizzie you finally learned to use spell check!

    =D

    I like how it flows without rhyming, but then it seems lik its rhyming.. but isn't.. do you get me? Its good ^^;

    This is one of your better ones! I think its lovely..

    TY Sasurai for the lovely sig!*

  6. #6
    Shichibukai JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie may be famous one day JefferyXie's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    A poem of contrast is always great to read because it gives the reader a twist in context.This poem use opposing words 'love' and 'death' to create a strong ,emotional text where the reader is able to empathize with the author of the poem and that is good.

  7. #7
    Warrior Monk kedar may be famous one day kedar may be famous one day kedar's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    Hey Lizzie bizzie, you have improved quite a lot, in my opinion. I don't see any spelling mistakes = +1. The structure of your poem is also decently designed = +1. The meaning is also well conveyed, and it fits fine with the title = +1.. Keep up the good work, and share more of your poems with us.

    I know your turn of me I know you don’t love me the same.

    Revise that part a little.

  8. #8
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: love to death

    How sad. That is really a sad poem. But it was very good as well! I really hope to see more!
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

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