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love is the warmth
you feel in you heart.
hate is the anger
you build up inside.
love is the feeling
when your by that
one person.
hate is the feeling
of confusion and
dispare.
love is the freedom,
fredom from your
caged self.
hate is anger, guilt
dispise romming through
your mind as a caged
little bird.
man, this is a really cool poem :2thumbs:
maybe you should make it longer to add spice to it but other than that
good job =]
Well, I'm not an expert of uni-flow, or non-rhyming poems (barely can make Haiku), but I see what message you are trying to display with it.
It's simple and short yes, but haven't you any more expression upon the two? The twin snakes that curl up the staff that is live and entwine our emotions with doubt and hope?
I'm sure if you worked upon your ideas you could expand the range andlength as well as quality of your work.
I still say you were good on displaying the bare ideas, but I like to read poems that show the 'gusto' you feel over something, or weave a fantastic shawl of either mysterious thoughts or interesting descriptions of ideas.
Keep trying, keep Truckin'.
http://i27.photobucket.com/albums/c1...iker/stamp.jpg