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Thread: love and hate

  1. #1
    Newbie INUYASHA is off to a good start INUYASHA's Avatar
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    love and hate

    love is the warmth
    you feel in you heart.
    hate is the anger
    you build up inside.

    love is the feeling
    when your by that
    one person.
    hate is the feeling
    of confusion and
    dispare.

    love is the freedom,
    fredom from your
    caged self.
    hate is anger, guilt
    dispise romming through
    your mind as a caged
    little bird.

  2. #2
    Otaku Robo Soccer Champion, Gorillaz Groove Session Champion blackrose92 is off to a good start blackrose92's Avatar
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    Re: love and hate

    man, this is a really cool poem
    maybe you should make it longer to add spice to it but other than that
    good job =]
    I'm the best you'll ever have because i am that f*ing AMA-zing chic who can stand on her own d*n feet and becasue of you I am the Greatest Thank you so much SasuraiHell and Gwen

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    INUYASHA (Dec 19, 2007)

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    Otaku Tetsanosuke Kirikami is off to a good start Tetsanosuke Kirikami's Avatar
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    Re: love and hate

    Well, I'm not an expert of uni-flow, or non-rhyming poems (barely can make Haiku), but I see what message you are trying to display with it.

    It's simple and short yes, but haven't you any more expression upon the two? The twin snakes that curl up the staff that is live and entwine our emotions with doubt and hope?

    I'm sure if you worked upon your ideas you could expand the range andlength as well as quality of your work.

    I still say you were good on displaying the bare ideas, but I like to read poems that show the 'gusto' you feel over something, or weave a fantastic shawl of either mysterious thoughts or interesting descriptions of ideas.

    Keep trying, keep Truckin'.


    "Walk in with Reason, and leave with Passion."

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    INUYASHA (Dec 19, 2007)

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