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Thread: Love( just something I felt like writing )

  1. #1
    Newbie nightmaregirl is off to a good start nightmaregirl's Avatar
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    Love( just something I felt like writing )

    Once I was lost in my own game.
    Now you showed me that there's a easy way out.
    You've showed me how to smlie and laugh again.
    Now I will cherish every single second of my life.


    Being with you is like a beautiful sunset going down,
    not being with you is like I can't breath.
    Your voice pulls me through day by day
    and makes me believe that there is something to live for.

    I just love it when you hold my hand
    and just a touch of you makes my spin shiver.
    One hug from you just makes me speachless
    and I don't want to let go or say goodbye.

    All the memories that I have with you
    I will cherish always & forever.
    All irrplaceable & unbelieveable moments I will
    carry all throught my life.

    When 'yes' to you I've made a promise to you
    that I will & always love you...
    Till death do us part..


    Your searching for that one specail person,
    that will change your life.
    You will find that person somehow or somewhere,
    but how do you know that person is right beside you.

    That one specail person will make you,
    laugh, smlie, specail and make you feel loved.
    He/She will hurt you but he/she will just,
    showing how much he/she loves you.

    He/she will love you and love who you really are.
    He/she might find out little thing about you,
    that he/she doesn't like but he/she will accpect them.
    He/she will just want you to be happy with or without him.

    How much he/she will show you how much they love or care,
    about you they will just end up leaving you.
    But how do we know.. so you should give him/he,
    a changes and see whats gonna happen between you and him/her


    All I want is to have someone specail,
    right beside me saying it will be okay because im here.
    All I want is someone to hug me tight and say,
    I love you please don't leave me.

    I don't know who is that someone and if he,
    will ever find me but I want him to find me soon.
    I don't know if that someone will make me,
    cry or wipe my tears away and make me smile.

    All I want is to find someone that will show,
    me that they love,care about me and me feelings.
    I don't what to feel this pain anymore,
    please come soon who ever that someone is.

    I don't want this person to come later,
    please come sooner.
    All I want is someone who will take,
    all my tear and hurt away.


    I love the way you call my name,
    just one call I just freze.
    I love the way you care about me,
    one fall you will catch me.
    I love the way you hug me,
    one big hug I just don't wanna let go.
    I love the way you kiss me,
    one kiss from your sorft lips.

    All those this I Love about you
    and I LOVE YOU

  2. #2
    Banned Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip may be famous one day Rave_Grip's Avatar
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    Re: Love( just something I felt like writing )

    One thing that made the poem loose its touch was the repetition of the words "he/she", besides the length of your poem.
    He/she will love you and love who you really are.
    He/she might find out little thing about you,
    that he/she doesn't like but he/she will accpect them.
    He/she will just want you to be happy with or without him.
    But even so I like your imagination, your creativity to produce warm feelings and emotions inside the reader. Great job ^_^.

  3. #3
    Otaku Lotski is off to a good start
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    Re: Love( just something I felt like writing )

    i agree with Rave there..
    You have to think of the term that describes both male and female..
    repitition of words are not really good in a poem..
    over all, the poem is ok to me..
    so much pain there.. free your self!
    hehehe.. nice

    If you don't like me, it's mind over matter.
    I don't mind and you don't matter

  4. #4
    Heavy Metal Goddess CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18 may be famous one day CherryBlossom18's Avatar
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    Re: Love( just something I felt like writing )

    Such a beautiful poem it was so touching and sweet. Sounds kinda like wedding vows.
    "Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
    Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
    Thanks so much I love it!

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