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love = pain
His love was killing him like a knife in the heart.
It would get harder to breath every time he moved.
The pain worse than the last.
His love was once warm now cold with the hatred of his love.
Every time he loves someone they don’t love him in return or stab in harder in the heart.
He’s now ready to give up.
Gave up on love.
To give up the love will not take the pain away.
It shall always still be a part of you and always be in your heart and memories.
Somethings about it were good, and then others seem weird to me. By things, I meann wording.
aww ok well i had to try out smilies i dont know if u got it tho lol
but thats ill try to keep working on it ^__^
It's like your repeating yourself Liz.. And that your just stating things..
Try and make your poems more personal and use a thesaurus! That always helps me ^^
Your spelling has improved a great deal though! V. Well done! hehe..
That was really interesting. But not in a bad way. And it seems like you have a good poetic thing going on. I say keep it up!
hehe thank you NevesElocin and kerry yeah i should but i dont have one >_< lol me sooo poor lol ( not really got an mp3 and a dell so im not haha) but thanks im trying to inprove my spelling so im trying to wright in full >_<
Very emotional.I reckon that with more words in the poem and working on the structure of the poem,wpild make the quality of the poem even better than it was.Good work though.
Sometimes the poem was really really nice, but then sometimes it didn't make sense to me:( It's a nice poem, don't get me wrong, but it just didn't 'flow' with me.
That line however, I like:2thumbs: It contradicts itself..heheh like me! lol.Quote:
His love was once warm now cold with the hatred of his love.
Nice poem once again, equinn. Keep it up!