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Thread: Love Story

  1. #1
    Otaku Star Girl may be famous one day Star Girl may be famous one day Star Girl's Avatar
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    Love Story

    Come let me tell you a love story
    There was a boy, and a crazy girl
    She started laughing
    And he did too
    Both of them not understanding
    Of what was happening
    The unspoken was being said
    The unheard was being heard...
    And soon they met in such a way
    There heart did not miss a single beat
    I start laughing, thinking of this
    Of how in love they both got lost in..
    Life was like a heaven
    If it were up to them
    Nothing could come inbetween
    The jasmines he picked for her
    Were beautiful and lively
    Just like when they were together
    Every second they would meet
    And share feelings of one another
    Neither would say a word
    But stare into eachothers eyes
    Time would go by
    And soon they would kiss good bye
    Awaiting for a day to spend forever

  2. #2
    Domme Kasai may be famous one day Kasai may be famous one day Kasai's Avatar
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    Re: Love Story

    The first line caught my attention! From there? The powm went downhill.
    Seduced by Flesh


  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
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    Re: Love Story

    The first line drew me in, but I would suggest a little more imagery in this poem! I mean try and let us picture you to meeting, the thoughts running through both of your heads. hope to see more of your work.

  4. #4
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Love Story

    It was a pretty nice poem-like story. Nice one star girl.

  5. #5
    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Re: Love Story

    Yes i agree wit Kasai you did very well in the first and second line then it began to make me lose interest.
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

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