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Thread: In Love With You

  1. #1
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    In Love With You

    I am in love with you
    I know you love me
    When we're together
    Our spirits are free

    Am always here
    Holding your hand
    Wiping away your tears
    Knowing am your man

    I know how it is
    To be in love with you
    We read each other's mind
    Our feelings are true.

    Short I know, but I need your guy's opinion about this one, ^_^

  2. #2
    「Someone」 Goo Slasher Champion, Fish Kill Champion, Rapid Motion Champion, Cell-Out Champion, Sober Santa 2 Champion, Flower Girl Champion KuwiRules145 is off to a good start KuwiRules145's Avatar
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    Re: In Love With You

    How cute. I'm such a romance type!!!!! I love your poem!!! I love it for being so romantic!!!! I hope to see more in the future.
    「When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead」

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: In Love With You

    Quote Originally Posted by hellknight View Post
    I am in love with you
    I know you love me
    When we're together
    Our spirits are free

    Am always here
    Holding your hand
    Wiping away your tears
    Knowing am your man

    I know how it is
    To be in love with you
    We read each other's mind
    Our feelings are true.

    Short I know, but I need your guy's opinion about this one, ^_^
    Spell check a bit. You need some I am's in there. You have a great base, but you need to add depth. Like a painting. Layer it up, deepin each line to your thoughts. Describe everything, even how you "know how it is"

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  4. #4
    Hell Enforcer George Wants Beer Champion, Monkey Cliff Diving Champion, Tilt 2 Champion hellknight may be famous one day hellknight may be famous one day hellknight's Avatar
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    Re: In Love With You

    LOL, Thanks you two, especailly you Nympho, I'll keep that in mind of what you said. thank you ^_^

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