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Thread: the lust of life

  1. #1
    Newbie lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave's Avatar
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    the lust of life

    Love for me is but a cold hearted sin.1
    a claw to my grave and clatter to kin.1
    love is tormenting it leads me in circles.2
    striving for perfection leaves my head purple.2

    Were is my love is he going to find me.1
    were is my hero is he going to help me.1
    i want to see my true loves face. 2
    i dont want to live anymore as a complete disgrace.2

    When i see him we will be together.1
    rain clouds and stormy weather. 1
    wont get in the way coz i will be so much better.2
    i love my hero i hope he reads this letter.2

    (what do you think?)
    made by sinistra thnk you love my friends aswell

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    Otaku Basketball Champion Shippo101 has disabled reputation Shippo101's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    wow that was awesome that is a true letter of love/ lust. I like hope to see much m0re of ur awesome work (^_^)
    Shippo is determined to become a lvl higher
    I'm a solider of Pen and Paper!
    <3 Atomik_Sprout <3

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    Newbie lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    wow thnk you ill be sure to post more ^^ my friend aymore comments?
    made by sinistra thnk you love my friends aswell

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    super effective Last Man Standing Champion FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd may be famous one day FLawEdmiNd's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    Everyone always give positive feedback... everyone. Although it is a piece from the heart, (I assume that much), it left me with a feeling of incompletion... for me it feel apart after line three of the first stanza and it stayed that way until the last line, that one I liked... "I love my hero i hope he reads this letter." May I ask why you chose to write in your rhyme scheme?

    Don't get the wrong message here... I think you have a potential... but not a natural one.. hmm

    As always,
    the love you withhold is the pain you carry.

  5. #5
    Otaku Dark wolf may be famous one day Dark wolf may be famous one day Dark wolf's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    this is the most damn love letter i ever read its meanings are really touching i hope to see more work from you
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    Newbie lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave may be famous one day lydia sex slave's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    Quote Originally Posted by FLawEdmiNd View Post
    Everyone always give positive feedback... everyone. Although it is a piece from the heart, (I assume that much), it left me with a feeling of incompletion... for me it feel apart after line three of the first stanza and it stayed that way until the last line, that one I liked... "I love my hero i hope he reads this letter." May I ask why you chose to write in your rhyme scheme?

    Don't get the wrong message here... I think you have a potential... but not a natural one.. hmm

    As always,
    he he feedback even if bad is ok coz it makes me get better thts how i normally write my poems i admit its short but its just i felt like writing from my feelings then ^^ i hope he does read this letter otherwise this was a little bit random of me he he
    made by sinistra thnk you love my friends aswell

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    Newbie babepooh15 may be famous one day babepooh15 may be famous one day babepooh15's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    it was great because you wrote about true love i love it good work!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! love is one of the greastest thing you can write cause it a feeling hard to come by!
    poohs my boo

  8. #8
    5.00 M33-6 solking may be famous one day solking may be famous one day solking's Avatar
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    Re: the lust of life

    that was rather sweet i liked it...
    gave me a few ideas in the head which i won't share...

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