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Thread: The Madness Of Me!

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    The Madness Of Me!

    Its in your eye's ,the death
    that awaits us all you're
    empty smile ,it just kill's the mood
    i dont understand how i could love you.

    Everytime i slip in to my dreams,
    you turn them to nightmare's
    how i wish i could get rid of you,
    my madness drives me over the edge.

    With open eye's i can see how
    you live inside my head, because
    all i ever do is think of you
    i think im gonna drift away.

    A tear is shed from what you are,
    a living hell inside my mind people
    say i should ignore you , but all i do
    is adore you, i hear your voice calling me.

    As i hold this bloody knife i hear you say
    that your proud of me. i smile as i look
    down at the body knowing you will
    leave me alone as long i listen to you.

    Your the voice that keeps ringing in my ear,
    how i wish you would never come to me
    another victim of your evil voice what
    should i do but make you go away with another kill.

    they say im crazy for listening to you but there
    wrong you just another part of me, and now i wish it
    to be over and with a pull of a trigger you will be
    gone forever.....and so will I.

    this was an attempt at a poem about somone
    who hears voices im not sure if i was detailed enough
    to give you the idea he was hear voices or not.
    but any comments or sugestions on how i can detail it
    better or anything are welocomed
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Devil's Advocate TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23 may be famous one day TaurusDemon23's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    I hear voices.......................PSYCHE!!!!! Like it!!
    NoT tHe SiGgY yOu R lOOkInG 4
    Move Along.

  3. #3
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·. HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove may be famous one day HieisLove's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    Woah!! I love it!!! You write interesting stuff!!
    ♥ (¯'·._.·[GEISHA ゲイシャ]·._.·'¯) ♥

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    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    A very interesting poem Big Bro.I liked it alot.Awesome job once again.
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

  5. #5
    Devoted Otaku Nympho may be famous one day Nympho may be famous one day Nympho's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    It came across as a friend who your circle dont agree with. Maybe if you add some kind of.... phrase like

    "this feeling inside me
    These voices cloud my mind
    Like circus freaks singing a lullaby...

    Or something that makes it sound like insane voices in your head....

    But other than that! It had me from the start! Your really on a poetry streak!

    I'm a glass child. I am Hannah's regrets. Monster.

  6. #6
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    thanks i love poetry just wish i had started doing this good before
    sure i still have problems here and there but i will get better
    thanks and im glad everyone liked it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  7. #7
    Otaku royal cutie pain may be famous one day royal cutie pain may be famous one day royal cutie pain's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    i agree w/ nympho but other than that i loved it! i few missed spelled words but ovall amazing ^_^


  8. #8
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: The Madness Of Me!

    your right i will do that next time but thansk im glad you liked it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

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