Memories

elie26 · May 02, 2006, 03:23 AM

*ahem* dedicated to:-
!!!!!! AO !!!!!!
~ The Gang~ ( rave, K, link, blade, sousuke,...)
# Me Friends # ( soldat of life, kedar, justloseit, SK, Abu, hawk, bassdudez
$ Mods and Admins $ ( zackraa, jade, sasurai,...)
hope u guys like it. every word written here is all true. enjoy

Memories

With trembling fingers
I slowly open and reveal you bit by bit
Careful not to break or hurt that fragile part of you

I can't breathe...not even blink
Caught up with the rush of memories
Tears of joy floweed within seconds
As I gaze transfixed at these simple
yet so meaningful pieces of paper and ink

You are something that I can never forget
Never turn back and
Never regret

You have the ability to open the sky
Whenever the clouds surround me
You showed me the path
The right way that I should lead

My little book,
Holding all the pictures and faces
Every word, phrase and sentence
Is something I hold so precious, near and dear

Here I am, standing so boldly
Revealing myself to each and everyone of you
I love you all so much
Really, I do.

pls comment. ^^

*Rave_Grip* · May 02, 2006, 03:26 AM

Elie, I love the way you put your emotions you put into your poems ^_^ Its touching and so true!

dude101 · May 02, 2006, 06:55 AM

ur poems elie always come from the heart. i just love them. great poem elie, truely great.

*Blade X* · May 02, 2006, 08:16 AM

wow, elie i'm so honoured to get a mention in ur decitation. Anyway, i luv this. It describes how we got to know u, girl. U got skill, dnt put urself k? Anyway nice one.

pigtaru · May 02, 2006, 08:34 AM

wow, I really like this poem, even though i'm not on the dedication list...Great work, haha!

*jaderabbit* · May 03, 2006, 12:15 AM

to be honest? i like it ^_^,

YOu need to remove the very last line it takes away from the flow of the ending of the poem in my opinion. the last line "really, i do." feels like u forced it in.

Hold.Me.X.Thrill.Me · May 03, 2006, 08:34 AM

I liked it! ^.^

This was my favourite verse,

Quote:

You are something that I can never forget
Never turn back and
Never regret

I loved how you rhymed it!!

Remember, a poem a day keeps the mood swings away! :P J/k j/k (Well it does for me anyways XD)

BrightShadow_96 · May 03, 2006, 08:43 AM

it was really good!

very emotional.

*Mr. K* · May 04, 2006, 12:14 AM

I like it. Look I'm on the list. *dancing* *dancing* lol Anyway. Very cool.

*NightFox* · May 04, 2006, 12:35 AM

Jade is right, last line is has kinda forced. But again truly beatiful poem, you
would really deserve nomination to AO's best poet. GJ Elie

kedar · May 04, 2006, 11:04 AM

Ah, I am leaning towards calling this as the best you ever wrote, Elie. The poem was clearly continuous with no humps and bumps, so the flow was awesome. The meaning is deep and lovely. Showed all of us how much we matter to you. All in all, brilliantly written. Keep it up, and write more. ^_^

-Thank You-

May 02, 2006, 03:23 AM	#1 (permalink)
elie26 Elie Jelly Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: Hell is an understatement Posts: 608 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 2,051	Memories ahem dedicated to:- !!!!!! AO !!!!!! ~ The Gang~ ( rave, K, link, blade, sousuke,...) # Me Friends # ( soldat of life, kedar, justloseit, SK, Abu, hawk, bassdudez $ Mods and Admins $ ( zackraa, jade, sasurai,...) hope u guys like it. every word written here is all true. enjoy Memories With trembling fingers I slowly open and reveal you bit by bit Careful not to break or hurt that fragile part of you I can't breathe...not even blink Caught up with the rush of memories Tears of joy floweed within seconds As I gaze transfixed at these simple yet so meaningful pieces of paper and ink You are something that I can never forget Never turn back and Never regret You have the ability to open the sky Whenever the clouds surround me You showed me the path The right way that I should lead My little book, Holding all the pictures and faces Every word, phrase and sentence Is something I hold so precious, near and dear Here I am, standing so boldly Revealing myself to each and everyone of you I love you all so much Really, I do. pls comment. ^^ __________________
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May 02, 2006, 03:26 AM	#2 (permalink)
Rave_Grip I hate idiots on AO. Kill Join Date: Dec 2005 Location: Life is an illusion. Posts: 2,314 Thanks: 0 Thanked 11 Times in 11 Posts Credits: 14,832	Re: Memories Elie, I love the way you put your emotions you put into your poems ^_^ Its touching and so true! __________________ Wherever you see, there is always 98% of people who love something; and 2% that don't. I'm pretty sure that not ALL 98% of peeps don't support Lolita or anything. So if you agree, put it in your sig. \| .:~My AO Gallery~:. \| \| .:~The AO Rules~:. \|
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May 02, 2006, 06:55 AM	#3 (permalink)
dude101 Community Dude Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Australia, Newcastle Posts: 711 Thanks: 1 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 8,797	Re: Memories ur poems elie always come from the heart. i just love them. great poem elie, truely great.
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May 02, 2006, 08:16 AM	#4 (permalink)
Blade X AO's Demon Slayer Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Protecting my loved one. Posts: 1,606 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,446	Re: Memories wow, elie i'm so honoured to get a mention in ur decitation. Anyway, i luv this. It describes how we got to know u, girl. U got skill, dnt put urself k? Anyway nice one. __________________ Thanks for the siggy Ky-lyrra
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May 02, 2006, 08:34 AM	#5 (permalink)
pigtaru Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: Elk Grove, CA USA Posts: 397 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 171	Re: Memories wow, I really like this poem, even though i'm not on the dedication list...Great work, haha! __________________ o~Piggy-san~o
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May 03, 2006, 12:15 AM	#6 (permalink)
jaderabbit Cheetos Overlord Join Date: Dec 2004 Location: The World Posts: 3,650 Thanks: 0 Thanked 3 Times in 2 Posts Credits: 7,251	Re: Memories to be honest? i like it ^_^, YOu need to remove the very last line it takes away from the flow of the ending of the poem in my opinion. the last line "really, i do." feels like u forced it in. __________________ -Just another green eyed angel, distorted by mans love for hate- \|THE INFAMOUS\|The Host\|Twilight Series\|Twilight Movie\|Untouched!\|
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May 03, 2006, 08:43 AM	#8 (permalink)
BrightShadow_96 遁走より本当 Join Date: Jan 2006 Location: Inside Reality & Serenity Posts: 571 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,365	Re: Memories it was really good! very emotional. __________________
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May 04, 2006, 12:14 AM	#9 (permalink)
Mr. K THUMBSUCKING ADDICTION Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: Alaska Posts: 1,266 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 3,203	Re: Memories **I like it. Look I'm on the list. dancing* dancing lol Anyway. Very cool.*** __________________ ≥°≤ [?] █▓▒░░▒▓█ [?] ≥°≤ ◕ ◡ ◕;;;;[?]
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May 04, 2006, 12:35 AM	#10 (permalink)
NightFox Mr/Miss Butterfly Join Date: Jan 2005 Location: University of Turku Posts: 500 Thanks: 2 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 2,277	Re: Memories Jade is right, last line is has kinda forced. But again truly beatiful poem, you would really deserve nomination to AO's best poet. GJ Elie __________________ Love hurts...trust me I know, I really do...
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May 04, 2006, 11:04 AM	#11 (permalink)
kedar Warrior Monk Join Date: Jul 2005 Location: Monk Society Posts: 2,969 Thanks: 3 Thanked 7 Times in 7 Posts Credits: 16,671	Re: Memories Ah, I am leaning towards calling this as the best you ever wrote, Elie. The poem was clearly continuous with no humps and bumps, so the flow was awesome. The meaning is deep and lovely. Showed all of us how much we matter to you. All in all, brilliantly written. Keep it up, and write more. ^_^ -Thank You- __________________
Status: Offline

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