i dont know but when i was reading out loud it sounding a lot like a childs rap. the word play is really good and stuff but like i dont like teh style so mcuh. Its not tht u have an inablility to do good poems its just that i didnt liek the poem
Been in a writing mood today..
The results...
Mind of Shadows.
Sitting alone, in this memory.
Shaded names written vicariously,
meticulously etched in stone and granite.
Carved out words of taken granted.
Smiles so faded in the dark,
prosaic teeth that glow & spark.
Silent laughter amidst the nameless.
Innocent slaughter from the shameless.
Closed eyes of the condemned vile,
sewn shut by innocent guile.
The blind that lead through mist,
falter upon the limbless guests.
Fingertips scratched until the bone,
fingernail etchings ‘neath a home.
A prison in his own sanctity,
afraid of the inevitable insanity.
Fr3aK~0f~N@Tu|23
i dont know but when i was reading out loud it sounding a lot like a childs rap. the word play is really good and stuff but like i dont like teh style so mcuh. Its not tht u have an inablility to do good poems its just that i didnt liek the poem
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