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The moment i touch you i feel safe.
The moment i touch you i don't fear anything.
The moment i touch you i'm not afraid of death.
The moment i touch you i say i love you.
The moment i touch you you say i want to be with you.
The moment i touch you you kiss me.
The moment you kiss me i kiss back.
The moment you kiss me is forever.
The moment you kiss me is eterity.
The moment you kiss me is everlasting.
The moment with you is a moment i always want.
Heh this is my first poem. i hope you like....
it's very beautiful. the feeling you get from the peom is like a still moment in time when you cant even determine what life is for but only for that moment... where everything dissapears and turns away just to alow you to be with that who you love... very beautiful...
thanks its was my first and it was kinda sudden so i didn't know if any one would like it...
aww...it's such a sweet poem there renny :) nicely done ^^ i like it...
A suggestion though.. on your next poem...dont repeat the same words too much... :p though this poem bolds how much the persona loves the moment...with the other person...it was nice.. and try to play with word some more.. do some experiments..you will find doing so is fun ^^
Keep it up.. i'll be reading more of yours... :) and i try to help in anyway i can... :)
lol thanks but it might be harder cause this was like....*BOOM* and *Crash* and i had it but i love to read poems!!!but yeah i'll try to write more!!!
That was a sweet poem you've written. =D
It was simple yet interesting. Keep up the good work and I'll be looking forward to see more of your poems. xD
heya renn, ur poem was awesome, i really loved it. you could use some more deeper words, and try not to start every line with the exact same thing, but other than that its good
lol thanks!! but hey why is every one coplaining about me using the same word..... idk it just happen that way can you blame me????>.<