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Thread: The moment....

  1. #1
    Randomly Renny!!! XD Boiler Breakdown Champion, Lotads Lament Champion, Crystal Island Champion, Festive Fallout Champion Renn may be famous one day Renn's Avatar
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    The moment....

    The moment i touch you i feel safe.
    The moment i touch you i don't fear anything.
    The moment i touch you i'm not afraid of death.
    The moment i touch you i say i love you.
    The moment i touch you you say i want to be with you.
    The moment i touch you you kiss me.

    The moment you kiss me i kiss back.
    The moment you kiss me is forever.
    The moment you kiss me is eterity.
    The moment you kiss me is everlasting.

    The moment with you is a moment i always want.


    Heh this is my first poem. i hope you like....

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

  2. #2
    Newbie RainbowRain is off to a good start RainbowRain's Avatar
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    Re: The moment....

    it's very beautiful. the feeling you get from the peom is like a still moment in time when you cant even determine what life is for but only for that moment... where everything dissapears and turns away just to alow you to be with that who you love... very beautiful...

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    Randomly Renny!!! XD Boiler Breakdown Champion, Lotads Lament Champion, Crystal Island Champion, Festive Fallout Champion Renn may be famous one day Renn's Avatar
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    Re: The moment....

    thanks its was my first and it was kinda sudden so i didn't know if any one would like it...

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

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    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
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    Re: The moment....

    aww...it's such a sweet poem there renny nicely done ^^ i like it...

    A suggestion though.. on your next poem...dont repeat the same words too much... though this poem bolds how much the persona loves the moment...with the other person...it was nice.. and try to play with word some more.. do some experiments..you will find doing so is fun ^^

    Keep it up.. i'll be reading more of yours... and i try to help in anyway i can...

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  5. #5
    Randomly Renny!!! XD Boiler Breakdown Champion, Lotads Lament Champion, Crystal Island Champion, Festive Fallout Champion Renn may be famous one day Renn's Avatar
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    Re: The moment....

    lol thanks but it might be harder cause this was like....*BOOM* and *Crash* and i had it but i love to read poems!!!but yeah i'll try to write more!!!

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

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    Otaku Bowling Champion Tifa Lockhart is off to a good start
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    Re: The moment....

    That was a sweet poem you've written. =D
    It was simple yet interesting. Keep up the good work and I'll be looking forward to see more of your poems. xD

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    Newbie shouichishindo is off to a good start shouichishindo's Avatar
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    Re: The moment....

    heya renn, ur poem was awesome, i really loved it. you could use some more deeper words, and try not to start every line with the exact same thing, but other than that its good

  8. #8
    Randomly Renny!!! XD Boiler Breakdown Champion, Lotads Lament Champion, Crystal Island Champion, Festive Fallout Champion Renn may be famous one day Renn's Avatar
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    Re: The moment....

    lol thanks!! but hey why is every one coplaining about me using the same word..... idk it just happen that way can you blame me????>.<

    'This world is trash. Cursed by the Fon Master...'

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