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Thread: Monsieur Smith

  1. #1
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Monsieur Smith

    this poem i made is inspired by daddy long legs that i watched during my high school years. i really do loved its anime. this poem a kinda long... but i hope you do like it... feel free to post comments and critiques.



    Monsieur Smith
    Looking outside my window pane,
    My heart is filled with antagonizing pain
    As I set my black eyes upon a family
    Who are walking together cheerfully.

    My head is being stabbed
    With helplessness so sharp
    That I will never find someone
    Who’ll make the bleeding stop.

    It’s been fourteen lonesome years,
    That no caring father and mother,
    That no loving brothers or sisters,
    Are at hand to cuddle me in cold winter.

    My mind is filled with endless longing,
    My soul is in eternal wandering,
    My heart is in infinite suffering,
    That I will spend all my life in the orphanage.

    The hurtful thoughts almost invades
    My mind that nearly fades.
    Then, I heard a knocking sound
    That makes my heart pound.

    Hearing a loud voice outside that door
    Telling me go to the Office of Mrs. Lippett
    My heart continues to ponder,
    The reason I really don’t get.

    I opened the wooden door,
    Not knowing what is in store,
    I see a fleeting impression of the man
    The impression consisted entirely of tallness

    He is waving his arm towards an automobile
    That is waiting in the curved drive
    As it sprang into motion and approached,
    Head on for an instant.

    The glaring headlights threw his shadow
    Sharply against the wall inside
    The shadow pictured grotesquely
    Elongated legs and arms.

    That run along the floor and
    Up the wall of the corridor
    It looked, for all the world, like a huge
    Wavering daddy-long-legs.

    That image takes my breath away,
    Knowing how tall that man may be.
    I walked hurriedly to Mrs. Lippett’s office
    Before my excitement will cease.

    Then the ever so cold Mrs. Lippett
    Asked me if a saw a man
    As I walked into her office.
    I told her I only saw his elongated shadow

    Then, ever so cold Mrs. Lippett
    Begins to reveal the news
    That a Monsieur loved my poem
    And is now sending me to college.

    Hearing the news made my heart
    Feel that this is a brand new start.
    It feels that my soul suddenly shed its skin
    Into happiness from the loneliness it has been.

    Mrs. Lippett now tells me directly
    The Mr. John Smith is the kind monsieur
    Who sends orphans into college
    For the reason she also understand.

    I run outside her office
    Excitement whirls in to my mind
    Hoping that I, myself will find
    And thank the kind Monsieur.
    Last edited by raja_psyche; Aug 05, 2006 at 08:01 PM.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  2. #2
    Bored college student fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    i would love to read it but the pink text hurts my eyes, change it to a less bright one. what i got down b4 my eyes died on me looked good.

    thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy!

  3. #3
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    ok thanks for your comment fayt.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  4. #4
    Bored college student fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod may be famous one day fayt lingod's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    i'm not a fan of long poems but i like:

    Monsieur Smith
    Looking outside my window pane,
    My heart is filled with antagonizing pain
    As I set my black eyes upon a family
    Who are walking together cheerfully.

    My head is being stabbed
    With helplessness so sharp
    That I will never find someone
    Who’ll make the bleeding stop.

    It’s been fourteen lonesome years,
    That no caring father and mother,
    That no loving brothers or sisters,
    Are at hand to cuddle me in cold winter.

    My mind is filled with endless longing,
    My soul is in eternal wandering,
    My heart is in infinite suffering,
    That I will spend all my life in the orphanage.

    The hurtful thoughts almost invades
    My mind that nearly fades.
    Then, I heard a knocking sound
    That makes my heart pound.

    Hearing a loud voice outside that door
    Telling me go to the Office of Mrs. Lippett
    My heart continues to ponder,
    The reason I really don’t get.

    I opened the wooden door,
    Not knowing what is in store,
    I see a fleeting impression of the man
    The impression consisted entirely of tallness

    He is waving his arm towards an automobile
    That is waiting in the curved drive
    As it sprang into motion and approached,
    Head on for an instant.

    The glaring headlights threw his shadow
    Sharply against the wall inside
    The shadow pictured grotesquely
    Elongated legs and arms.

    That run along the floor and
    Up the wall of the corridor
    It looked, for all the world, like a huge
    Wavering daddy-long-legs.

    That image takes my breath away,
    Knowing how tall that man may be.
    I walked hurriedly to Mrs. Lippett’s office
    Before my excitement will cease.

    Then the ever so cold Mrs. Lippett
    Asked me if a saw a man
    As I walked into her office.
    I told her I only saw his elongated shadow

    Then, ever so cold Mrs. Lippett
    Begins to reveal the news
    That a Monsieur loved my poem
    And is now sending me to college.

    Hearing the news made my heart
    Feel that this is a brand new start.
    It feels that my soul suddenly shed its skin
    Into happiness from the loneliness it has been.

    Mrs. Lippett now tells me directly
    The Mr. John Smith is the kind monsieur
    Who sends orphans into college
    For the reason she also understand.

    I run outside her office
    Excitement whirls in to my mind
    Hoping that I, myself will find
    And thank the kind Monsieur.


    that part!

    thanks to zyta for the sick sig and avy!

  5. #5
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    ^^ it seemed you liked that whole part of my poem. thankies.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

  6. #6
    You's Trollin Pro Leafblower Champion, Helicopter Champion ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro is making a name for themselves ketaro's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    That was really nice, i like your poem.

  7. #7
    Otaku Reaper66 may be famous one day Reaper66 may be famous one day Reaper66's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    very nice poem raja great job like the whole thing fantastic

    My mind is filled with endless longing,
    My soul is in eternal wandering,
    My heart is in infinite suffering,
    That I will spend all my life in the orphanage.
    that part was probably my fav.
    (-)4(|< 7(-)3 P14|\|37

  8. #8
    Otaku raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche may be famous one day raja_psyche's Avatar
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    Re: Monsieur Smith

    Thanks everybody for commenting on my poem. i really do appreciate.

    Thank you very much,Reese for this wonderful signature ^_^

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