Thread: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

A tear drop's on the ivory key's,
a memory flash'es before his eye's
as the music shows his pain, a woman's
voice is rememberd as he grits his
teeth in anger .

The moon over head atleast is
reflecting off his glass of age old wine.
he remembers how They draged her
away in the night out of fear of
her kind.

He could do nothing but watch as she
faded away and, the flames danced
around her flesh ,the keys now quickining
as the tears flow more freely , a soft
wimper can be heard from him.

It is now early in the morning as her
face becomes more clear in his
head not knowing or thinking he
bangs the keys harder as the
melody becomes more emotional.

As his verosity is more inept than
ever as his finger's start to bleed
from the harshness of the way the
key board is being played.

He stands while he is till playing and
smiling, yes smiling he is no longer
sad because he know's he will soon
join his love in the eternal bliss of death,
the moon now fading.

As the sun rises ,smoke comes
from him as he play's more
eratic he take's one last sip of that
wine and he bursts into flame
saying "a toast to you my love with
a tear in my eye and blood on my lips"

..............Then he is gone never more to exsit

ok i redid a poem i wrote when i very first
joined AO and was hoping those of you who
saw that one could tell me if this is a bit better.
and any comments or tips would be helpfull