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Thread: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

  1. #1
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    A tear drop's on the ivory key's,
    a memory flash'es before his eye's
    as the music shows his pain, a woman's
    voice is rememberd as he grits his
    teeth in anger .

    The moon over head atleast is
    reflecting off his glass of age old wine.
    he remembers how They draged her
    away in the night out of fear of
    her kind.

    He could do nothing but watch as she
    faded away and, the flames danced
    around her flesh ,the keys now quickining
    as the tears flow more freely , a soft
    wimper can be heard from him.

    It is now early in the morning as her
    face becomes more clear in his
    head not knowing or thinking he
    bangs the keys harder as the
    melody becomes more emotional.

    As his verosity is more inept than
    ever as his finger's start to bleed
    from the harshness of the way the
    key board is being played.

    He stands while he is till playing and
    smiling, yes smiling he is no longer
    sad because he know's he will soon
    join his love in the eternal bliss of death,
    the moon now fading.

    As the sun rises ,smoke comes
    from him as he play's more
    eratic he take's one last sip of that
    wine and he bursts into flame
    saying "a toast to you my love with
    a tear in my eye and blood on my lips"

    ..............Then he is gone never more to exsit

    ok i redid a poem i wrote when i very first
    joined AO and was hoping those of you who
    saw that one could tell me if this is a bit better.
    and any comments or tips would be helpfull
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  2. #2
    Otaku fma1012 may be famous one day fma1012 may be famous one day fma1012's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    This is an awesome poem, its really deep too and kinda sad.


    Thanks lifeforce! (:

  3. #3
    Sorrow's Angel Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel may be famous one day Shinigami's_Angel's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    WOW!!! Now this was soooooooooooooooo awesome Big Bro! I loved it!!
    Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^

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    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    hmph (concentrate)
    now this is the crimsom ange i knew
    this poem is so awesome and dark
    i give it a 100!



    perdoname michelle!

  5. #5
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    thanks im glad everyone liked it its way better than my first attempt im sort of glad i re-did it
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  6. #6
    S.E.L - sexy etna lover Baal may be famous one day Baal may be famous one day Baal's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    I thougthed the first part was good though.



    perdoname michelle!

  7. #7
    Fish Fingers & Custard Ice Hockey Champion, Smaugs Treasure Champion, Mini Putt 3 Champion, Ant Tracks Champion, Jungle Hunt Champion, Madnetics Champion, Manole Champion, Blokken Champion, Fast Food Fiasco Champion, Shapes Hifters Champion, Mud and Blood: Vietnam Champion HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice is making a name for themselves HolderOfTheDarkChalice's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    thanks i mean the hole porm its self this is a remake from the origanle i posted when i first joind i can send you a link to see it if you want then you can see how bad i sucked at my first attempt
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
    I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
    I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
    They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
    Isolate and save you from yourself

  8. #8
    Otaku royal cutie pain may be famous one day royal cutie pain may be famous one day royal cutie pain's Avatar
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    Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

    wow *speechless* it was deep, shocking, and depressing. it was very well thought out. very nice


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