Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake"

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 28, 2006, 11:52 AM

A tear drop's on the ivory key's,
a memory flash'es before his eye's
as the music shows his pain, a woman's
voice is rememberd as he grits his
teeth in anger .

The moon over head atleast is
reflecting off his glass of age old wine.
he remembers how They draged her
away in the night out of fear of
her kind.

He could do nothing but watch as she
faded away and, the flames danced
around her flesh ,the keys now quickining
as the tears flow more freely , a soft
wimper can be heard from him.

It is now early in the morning as her
face becomes more clear in his
head not knowing or thinking he
bangs the keys harder as the
melody becomes more emotional.

As his verosity is more inept than
ever as his finger's start to bleed
from the harshness of the way the
key board is being played.

He stands while he is till playing and
smiling, yes smiling he is no longer
sad because he know's he will soon
join his love in the eternal bliss of death,
the moon now fading.

As the sun rises ,smoke comes
from him as he play's more
eratic he take's one last sip of that
wine and he bursts into flame
saying "a toast to you my love with
a tear in my eye and blood on my lips"

..............Then he is gone never more to exsit

ok i redid a poem i wrote when i very first
joined AO and was hoping those of you who
saw that one could tell me if this is a bit better.
and any comments or tips would be helpfull

fma1012 · Aug 28, 2006, 11:56 AM

This is an awesome poem, its really deep too and kinda sad.

Shinigami's_Angel · Aug 28, 2006, 06:14 PM

WOW!!! Now this was soooooooooooooooo awesome Big Bro! I loved it!!

*Baal* · Aug 28, 2006, 06:53 PM

hmph (concentrate)
now this is the crimsom ange i knew
this poem is so awesome and dark
i give it a 100!

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 28, 2006, 07:04 PM

thanks im glad everyone liked it its way better than my first attempt im sort of glad i re-did it

*Baal* · Aug 28, 2006, 07:06 PM

I thougthed the first part was good though.

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 28, 2006, 07:09 PM

thanks i mean the hole porm its self this is a remake from the origanle i posted when i first joind i can send you a link to see it if you want then you can see how bad i sucked at my first attempt

royal cutie pain · Aug 29, 2006, 09:16 AM

wow *speechless* it was deep, shocking, and depressing. it was very well thought out. very nice

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 29, 2006, 09:28 AM

thank you ^_^ glad you liked it

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 29, 2006, 09:49 AM

i liked that poem it really is a sweet poem about love
and wanted to be held . i can relate to that

*HolderOfTheDarkChalice* · Aug 29, 2006, 09:57 AM

? you want to be held? by who? me?

Aug 28, 2006, 11:52 AM	#1 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 20 Thanked 19 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 2,476	Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" A tear drop's on the ivory key's, a memory flash'es before his eye's as the music shows his pain, a woman's voice is rememberd as he grits his teeth in anger . The moon over head atleast is reflecting off his glass of age old wine. he remembers how They draged her away in the night out of fear of her kind. He could do nothing but watch as she faded away and, the flames danced around her flesh ,the keys now quickining as the tears flow more freely , a soft wimper can be heard from him. It is now early in the morning as her face becomes more clear in his head not knowing or thinking he bangs the keys harder as the melody becomes more emotional. As his verosity is more inept than ever as his finger's start to bleed from the harshness of the way the key board is being played. He stands while he is till playing and smiling, yes smiling he is no longer sad because he know's he will soon join his love in the eternal bliss of death, the moon now fading. As the sun rises ,smoke comes from him as he play's more eratic he take's one last sip of that wine and he bursts into flame saying "a toast to you my love with a tear in my eye and blood on my lips" ..............Then he is gone never more to exsit ok i redid a poem i wrote when i very first joined AO and was hoping those of you who saw that one could tell me if this is a bit better. and any comments or tips would be helpfull __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Aug 28, 2006, 11:56 AM	#2 (permalink)
fma1012 Diamond in the Rough Join Date: Jun 2006 Location: somewhere Posts: 470 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 1,693	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" This is an awesome poem, its really deep too and kinda sad. __________________ ThAnKs CaNdId FoR ThE SwEet SiG~
Status: Offline

Aug 28, 2006, 06:14 PM	#3 (permalink)
Shinigami's_Angel In The Arms Of My Lover Join Date: Mar 2006 Location: In Axel's Closet!! watch's him sleep XD Posts: 687 Thanks: 40 Thanked 7 Times in 6 Posts Credits: 3,195	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" WOW!!! Now this was soooooooooooooooo awesome Big Bro! I loved it!! __________________ Made by- Ryomakurosaki (Thank you sooooo much!!) ^__^
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Aug 28, 2006, 06:53 PM	#4 (permalink)
Baal S.E.L - sexy etna lover Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Mayaguez Posts: 1,066 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 309	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" hmph (concentrate) now this is the crimsom ange i knew this poem is so awesome and dark i give it a 100! __________________ perdoname michelle!
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Aug 28, 2006, 07:04 PM	#5 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 20 Thanked 19 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 2,476	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" thanks im glad everyone liked it its way better than my first attempt im sort of glad i re-did it __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Welcome to AnimeOnline.net, your personal Anime Community!	Anime Online Rulez!

Aug 28, 2006, 07:06 PM	#6 (permalink)
Baal S.E.L - sexy etna lover Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: Mayaguez Posts: 1,066 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts Credits: 309	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" I thougthed the first part was good though. __________________ perdoname michelle!
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Aug 28, 2006, 07:09 PM	#7 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 20 Thanked 19 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 2,476	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" thanks i mean the hole porm its self this is a remake from the origanle i posted when i first joind i can send you a link to see it if you want then you can see how bad i sucked at my first attempt __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Aug 29, 2006, 09:16 AM	#8 (permalink)
royal cutie pain Diamond in the Rough Join Date: May 2006 Location: somewhere that is special and nice, Washington Posts: 229 Thanks: 0 Thanked 1 Time in 1 Post Credits: 1,451	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" wow speechless it was deep, shocking, and depressing. it was very well thought out. very nice __________________
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Aug 29, 2006, 09:28 AM	#9 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 20 Thanked 19 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 2,476	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" thank you ^_^ glad you liked it __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Aug 29, 2006, 09:49 AM	#10 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 20 Thanked 19 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 2,476	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" i liked that poem it really is a sweet poem about love and wanted to be held . i can relate to that __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

Aug 29, 2006, 09:57 AM	#11 (permalink)
HolderOfTheDarkChalice King Of Darkness Join Date: May 2006 Location: someplace where the only light is the moon above Posts: 2,783 Thanks: 20 Thanked 19 Times in 18 Posts Credits: 2,476	Re: Moon Light Sanata Gone Mad "Remake" ? you want to be held? by who? me? __________________ thanks mellow your sig is top notch http://www.animeonline.net/links/
Status: Offline

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