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Reply With QuoteEventhough you're too good to talk to me I will say this is really good poem that makes alot of sense cause it's true of how some things seem to change,but they somehow always stays the same.
Things change yet they always
stay the same , like words used
to produce peace between two
or more people or in a world of nations.
A land of of destitute and deprivity thats
what we live in but through the eyes of a
few ignorant the world is fine just a few
wars or skirmishes.
Never do they see that the world is falling
apart through the eyes that are blinded by peace,
they never see the death and chaose that sorounds
there semi perfect world.
Leaders near and far all say we need a change
when all they want are things to change so they
can look right in the eyes of the many , while things
get worse behind the scene's.
The more things change the more they stay
the same some might not get this but the facts
remain that things will change but will remain the same.
________________________________________________
this poem is about how change no matter how great
it seems is still the same in some way no matter how
small the unchanging thing is and things will always
be like this. comments and suggestions are welcomed
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and all your demons
I'll be the one to protect you from a will to survive and a voice of reason
I'll be the one to protect you from your enemies and your choices son
They're one in the same, I must isolate you...
Isolate and save you from yourself
Re: The More Things Change? Eventhough you're too good to talk to me I will say this is really good poem that makes alot of sense cause it's true of how some things seem to change,but they somehow always stays the same.
Last edited by gren; Jan 20, 2008 at 05:16 PM. Reason: don't need to quote entire poem
"Sunset Kisses Along The Beach"
Made for me by HolderofTheDarkChalice
Thanks so much I love it!
As I read this poem each one of your stanza seem like the can support the poem on it's own. Although in the first stanza I would suggest removing the comma to make it one complete thought. Definitely good usage of the the words destitute and depravity they really bring out what you are trying to say in the second stanza. In the third stanza you mispelled surrounds and chaos, but that's just a minor correction that can be corrected when ever you have time. Also try changing there to their showing ownership to whomever you are refering to. Overall from what I can tell the structure is sound and you thought has different flow, yet it works with this type of poem, the only other thing I see with this poem is the last stanza is a little short. HDofC you did an awesome job and I see the improvement that is taking place within your writing since I first met you here on AO! I look forward to reading more of your work as you continue to progress in your endeavors as a writer.
HolderOfTheDarkChalice (Jan 25, 2008)
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