Thread: My Becoming Alive

WOW!!! you like writing poems a lot don't you?

i sure hope this doesn't represent the way you really feel deep inside... and i sure hope this absolutely is not how your real life is. 'coz the picture you're creating in my head and heart aren't that pleasant... in the awry case that it is, then i wish all the best for you. just like how the poem ended.

the message of your peom though clearly abstract becomes concrete with the help of your imagery. it paints a clear picture of where the "i" is both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

i love the way that the poem sews itself together into a dramatic finish which not necessarily means that it is a means of escape, but rather a means of coping.

overall, it is great. to make it better i would like to suggest less use of hifalutin words and less abstractions as to lessen the need of concretizing such things.

i see great potential in you... and i wish to hear more from you... i find it satisfying to be able to read your poems... keep it up. ^^,

I love this one...
It makes clear that you have to keep going on...
No matter what happend in your path...
Or what will happen...
This one is very good...^_^...

Originally Posted by crimson

WOW!!! you like writing poems a lot don't you?

i sure hope this doesn't represent the way you really feel deep inside... and i sure hope this absolutely is not how your real life is. 'coz the picture you're creating in my head and heart aren't that pleasant... in the awry case that it is, then i wish all the best for you. just like how the poem ended.

the message of your peom though clearly abstract becomes concrete with the help of your imagery. it paints a clear picture of where the "i" is both physically, mentally, and emotionally.

i love the way that the poem sews itself together into a dramatic finish which not necessarily means that it is a means of escape, but rather a means of coping.

overall, it is great. to make it better i would like to suggest less use of hifalutin words and less abstractions as to lessen the need of concretizing such things.

i see great potential in you... and i wish to hear more from you... i find it satisfying to be able to read your poems... keep it up. ^^,

actually, I don't really write poems very much. I'm really used to writting lyrics. I love writting my very own lyrics.

this poem was the hardest thing I have ever written, mainly because it is pulling out all thoses feelings and situations that I have faced all my life. and having to go back and revisit my past was really hard.

I ended up crying really hard after finishing it. but it was a way to vent and just finally break through that glass wall that has been holding me back for such a long time and finally being able to release all that pint up anger, sorry, and lonleiness.

thank you so much!!
I'll keep your comments in mind.

Whew ... you wrote that today? Pretty impressive, really! You really have a talent for writing poems and lyrics for that matter. Keep up the good work.
But ... so sad ...
Next time you'll write a happy one, a'ight?

Originally Posted by lapislazuli

Whew ... you wrote that today? Pretty impressive, really! You really have a talent for writing poems and lyrics for that matter. Keep up the good work.
But ... so sad ...
Next time you'll write a happy one, a'ight?

lol I wrote that one a few days ago. and I'll try to focus on a happier one for next time. thank you. ^ ^