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Reply With Quotenow if you read this would you please post and tell me if you liked it? even if you hated it just be honest. I want the truth and how could I get better without it? so please post your opinions.
I thought that I would share a passage from my book to see if anyone liked it well here it is.
as the darkness runs freely,
I am harmed more eseilly.
The darkness deep within my soul
runs around and is black as coal.
My heart was saved by someone I love
it's like she was sent from up above.
I thought the rage was gone but then
she was gone and it was back again.
now the darkness consumes my soul
my rage sarounds and takes a tole.
I now she saved me once before
but will she return to save me once more.
part II:
changes came and things went bad
this hurts so much it makes me sad.
but things might return to the norm
in the end when things tend to change form.
life only comes to a lucky few
at least you where there to see the view.
changes come and friends say goodbye
but sometimes this can make me cry.
I now she saved me once before
but will she return to save me once more.
Last edited by rentonthurston27; Mar 03, 2008 at 07:05 PM. Reason: added more to it.
here is a bit of info you all should know. Dont beg for things do it yourself or else you wont get anything. dont let the little details run your life. when your down just keep on moving.
now if you read this would you please post and tell me if you liked it? even if you hated it just be honest. I want the truth and how could I get better without it? so please post your opinions.
here is a bit of info you all should know. Dont beg for things do it yourself or else you wont get anything. dont let the little details run your life. when your down just keep on moving.
there is nothing to hate about this poem.....although you have to do a bit of a spelling check...
your usage of words flowed very nicely and had a smooth rhythm to it.....
other than the spelling thing,,,,,,,
it is a very nice poem ^_^
DO NOT MAKE ME UNLEASH MY INNER DEMON
thanks i was never that good with spelling though. and i still have one more part to it that in my book is lost for some time.
here is a bit of info you all should know. Dont beg for things do it yourself or else you wont get anything. dont let the little details run your life. when your down just keep on moving.
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