Thread: My child illumination

Originally Posted by Nympho

OK this to me sounds unfinished and sloppy. Tell me what i should to to finish it. Por favoro.

You shadow my insides
Linger within my darkness
Make everyday yours and all I live for
Your amber lining
Set aflame
Burning a piece of my heart away
I have never met you
But you already mean everything to me
Taking every breath so much deeper
To fill your lungs
Your heart beat echoes
And my life will follow
Taking each footstep
In patience

I figured this one was coming, lol.
I enjoyed the bolded lines.

2 months down, 7 to go, good luck!

It has a good flow.... it kinda *clunked* half way through the poem, but u managed 2 pick it up towards the end.

Awwww... Good luck with everything. ^_^

it was nicely well written, i like the darkness put into it. It was a really nice poem, keep it up nympho.

ps: en ke te inspiras?

I see nothing sloppy, Nympho. ^_^ It's perfect as it is. A great flow is maintained all throughout the poem, which made it a lot easy to read and follow. And, is Pigtaru talking about what I am thinking about, or is he just joking? @.@

Anyway! Good job, Nympho like alway! Wish to read lots more!!!

-Kedar-

Well Kedar i thought you would have figured it out by me always talking about it and always being hungry on AO. Yes in fact i am preggers. And that's what this poem is all about.