+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 6 of 6

Thread: My Cinderella

  1. #1
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Lightbulb My Cinderella

    Cinderella



    There are things that I want to say to you
    Yet I can never put my feelings into words
    My mind races and spins in so many directions
    That I begin to lose myself in a sea of emotions


    Tossing and turning at night wondering why
    When I held you I didn’t look into your eyes
    Telling you that you lips are like red roses
    Your smile is a bright as the sun after the rain


    Regretting each moment when we weren’t together
    Not being able to say how much you mean to me
    Every day with you is a dream turned into paradise
    I now no longer spiral in this eternal darkness


    Living each moment and second to the fullest
    Taking each day as a new lesson learned in life
    Remembering the words of wisdom gained
    I now have found the woman who can be called

    My Cinderella


    What's up all it's ya boy BlueFox1 dropping a poem on you guys! I know it's been a while and I've experineced alot in the past couple of months, so hopefully you can understand this poem! Let me know what you think!

  2. #2
    Lost in confusion Tetrix 2 v2 Champion Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy is making a name for themselves Sazzy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2004
    Location
    In my imagination restricted by British Society!
    Posts
    2,027
    Thanks
    10
    Thanked 42 Times in 36 Posts

    Re: My Cinderella

    The concept of the poem is one I can really relate to. For missing a loved one and not being close to them is something that is hard to deal with.

    I do really like the Third stanza. The last two lines especially were very well written and caught the atmosphere of the poem really well. It revealed the happiness you shared with your cinderella.

    Overall, it is really well written and its consistent all the way through. Well done and I hope to see more of your work, now that you are back.
    FAVOURITE THREADS EXPLAIN why, or risk an infraction.
    | Sazzy-Bu.co.uk | My Deviant Art | Anime Vector | Otaku Zen | My Twitter | My Tumblr | My last.fm |

  3. #3
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: My Cinderella

    Quote Originally Posted by Sazzy View Post
    The concept of the poem is one I can really relate to. For missing a loved one and not being close to them is something that is hard to deal with.

    I do really like the Third stanza. The last two lines especially were very well written and caught the atmosphere of the poem really well. It revealed the happiness you shared with your cinderella.

    Overall, it is really well written and its consistent all the way through. Well done and I hope to see more of your work, now that you are back.

    I'm glad that my words, thoughts, and emotions are clearly conveyed through this poem Sazzy! And thanks for the warm welcome back! Sazzy "You Rock!"

  4. #4
    Newbie FallingxSin is off to a good start FallingxSin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    15
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Re: My Cinderella

    Good simple poem, you don't really need secret meaning to express you found the one. I like it. Hope you make more.
    In the Light we see Fire.
    In the Dark we feel Fire.

  5. #5
    Rawr~ :3 Boxteroid Champion, flyplane Champion, Home Run Champion, Bubbelfutsch Champion, Fire Fighter Champion, Brendans Soccer Champion, Movie Star Match-Up Champion, Total blackout Champion, Text Your Reflexes Champion, Scary movie Champion, Hulk Smash Up Champion, Star Wars Champion, Extreme Snowboarding Champion, Air Disc Champion, Action Fish Champion, A Game Of 3 Halves Champion, Battleball Champion, Hacky Sack Champion, FAD 2003 Champion, SQRL Golf Champion, Dr Yeckyl and Mr Ride Champion, Sky Glide Champion, Flyer Champion, Finnair Champion, Drachenjagd Champion, Canyon Glider Champion, City Surfing Champion, Action Driving Game Champion, Extreme Rowing Champion, Kardahdg Champion, Acceleracers Track Mod Champion, Final Test Champion, Du Wichtel Champion, Pedal Power Champion, Camera Killer 2 Champion, Bike Mania on ICE Champion, ATV Winter Challenge Champion, Caliber Dash Champion, Diesel and Death Champion, Snow Ride Champion, Camera Killer Champion, Pepsi Jet Ski Champion, Bumper Cars Championship Champion, Drifting Champion, Get A Grip Champion, Rooney on the Rampage Champion, Death To Ninja Champion, Kung Fu Hustle 2 Champion, Muay Thai Champion, Metal Arm FAWEGE Champion, Knife Champion, Classroom Fighter Champion, Nobuyuki Forces 3 Champion, Caddeva Champion, Sewer Dweller Champion, Angel Mart Champion, Snowy Champion, Bola Champion, Boiler Room Champion, Bobcat Champion, Amazon Quest Champion, Booty Champion, Five Errors Champion, Mind Your Marbles Champion, Angel Fruit Champion, Binggrae Champion, Candy Shoot Champion, Imperial tiles Champion, Himalayaya - Yeti Strikes Back Champion, Terrorist Attack Champion, Americas Army Champion, Special Operations Champion, Destroy the robots Champion, Cubicle Warfare Champion, Battle Field Champion, Weapons Dealer Champion, Army Copter Champion, Flat War Champion, Terrorist Alert Champion, Bully Basher Champion, Reaktor Champion, Bungee Rescue Champion, The Contraptor Champion, Boris Champion, Carling Cold Champion, Paddleball Champion RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe is making a name for themselves RayMe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Not somewhere I love but I am glad I have a home so far
    Posts
    3,804
    Thanks
    82
    Thanked 61 Times in 56 Posts

    Re: My Cinderella

    ooh.. . cinderella...you sound more like cinderella though..

    Tossing and turning at night wondering why
    When I held you I didn’t look into your eyes
    Regretting each moment when we weren’t together
    Not being able to say how much you mean to me
    It seems like you we're the one that have to.. "run away from the ball at the palace"

    Hmm...yes i agree indeed... this is a very well written poem... it's a creative work you made there... the flow of the poem is very nice...it's simple like fallingxsin said...you can understand the meaning easily...

    The wording are used nicely...created a very nice effect that goes with the poem nicely ^^

    keep it up

    Legion Ketsueki Lives on~!!
    I'm BACK AO!
    >>>facebook<<<

  6. #6
    Devoted Otaku BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1 may be famous one day BlueFox1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    A place called Midnight Sun know as Tranquility
    Posts
    585
    Thanks
    9
    Thanked 6 Times in 6 Posts

    Re: My Cinderella

    Quote Originally Posted by RayMe View Post
    ooh.. . cinderella...you sound more like cinderella though..





    It seems like you we're the one that have to.. "run away from the ball at the palace"

    Hmm...yes i agree indeed... this is a very well written poem... it's a creative work you made there... the flow of the poem is very nice...it's simple like fallingxsin said...you can understand the meaning easily...

    The wording are used nicely...created a very nice effect that goes with the poem nicely ^^

    keep it up
    Well RayMe sometimes you do run from things that pose fear in your heart, so I can understand what you meant when you said I seem like Cinderella! I appreciate you taking the time to read my poem. And don't worry I'll come back with another one since I have such a misunderstood view of life anyways!


    Quote Originally Posted by FallingxSin View Post
    Good simple poem, you don't really need secret meaning to express you found the one. I like it. Hope you make more.
    FallingxSin welcome to AO and thank you for you encouraging comment! You're right I don't need to keep it a secret that I found one! When hell has you locked tight within the bowels of fire and brimstone, it leaves you time to think "what could I've done differently! Appreciate you taking the time to read this as well! You guys Rock!

+ Reply to Thread

Similar Threads

  1. Cinderella
    By equinn in forum Poems
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: Jun 03, 2007, 06:49 AM
  2. Poison & Cinderella
    By CherryBlossom18 in forum Sensory Pleasures
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: Oct 06, 2006, 07:28 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts